The Perils of Mimic War.
Motor Lieutenant, Motor Volunteer Corps (to General in his charge). "I say, sir, if we"—(bump!)—"upset"—(bang!)—"shall I get"—(bump! bang!)—"a military funeral too?"
Perilous position of a gallant officer of Volunteers, on a recent march, who (ever thoughtful for the comfort of his hired charger) chooses the cooling waters of the ford in preference to the bridge. "Here! Hi! Help, somebody! Hold on! I mean halt! He won't come out, and he wants to lie down, and I believe he's going to rear!"
NAVAL REVIEW (From an Antique)
Trafalgar Day.—(At the Board School.) Teacher. Now can any boy tell me why Nelson's column was erected in Trafalgar Square?
Johnny Grimes (immediately). Please, sir, to 'elp 'im up to 'eaven, when 'e died in the arms of the Wictory.
