A HAPPY HOLIDAY
Now I really do not care a
Hang about the Riviera,
In the daytime you've a gay time,
But the nights are very cold.
And for any kind of touring,
Which I used to find alluring,
I for biking had a liking,
But I now have grown too old.
Then the constant change of weather
To my thinking, altogether
Knocked the notion of an ocean
Trip completely on the head;
I've a horror, too, of "trippers,"
'Arrys, 'Arriets, and "nippers,"
So a jolly quiet holi-
Day I spent at home in bed.
No Difference.—English Customer (to Manager of restaurant). I see, Signor Maraschino, that the American gentleman and his wife who have just left drank nothing but water with their dinner. Does that make much difference in their bill?
Signor Maraschino. Noting, sir. They pay same as yourself and lady, who 'ave champagne. Oderwise 'ow should we live?
"The Great Loan Land."—Russia.
What did Mr. Punch do in the Easter Recess?—Volunteer review! Not a bit of it! He just popped over, and had a few days of delightful dolce far niente at Venice.
Papa, Maman, et Bébé s'en vont à la pêche aux crevettes.
Fin De La Saison.—(At a Cercle Anglais. "Le Fiv' o'clock," i.e., Afternoon Tea.)
Britisher. "Coming to the ball to-night, Count?"
Monsieur le Comte. "Moi, mon cher? Ah, non. I am tired. I have the ache everywhere. I have play the football!"
Britisher. "Good! What?—Forward, half-back?"
Monsieur le Comte. "Forward! Half-back! Par exemple, I am 'Arbitre'—how you say it?—Referee!"