ENGLAND AND GERMANY
British Nimrod (who has shot tigers in India, and lions in South Africa). "The fact is, Herr Muller, that I don't care much for sport unless it contains the element of danger."
German Nimrod. "Ach zo? you are vont of taincher? Den you should gom ant shood mit me! Vy, only de oder tay I shoodet my broder-in-law in de shdômag!"
Cutting a new Acquaintance.—Major Longi'th'Bow. I met a Brahmin once with "John Smith, London," carved on his back. You see he was standing motionless in one of those pious trances which nothing is allowed to interrupt. In this state he was found by a cheap-tripper, who took him for a statue and cut his name as usual.
At Florence.—First Tourist. Hullo! Barkins, what brought you here?
Second Tourist (facetiously). The railway, of course. And you?
First Tourist (getting mixed, but thinking he has his friend). My wife's wish to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa!
Suitable Spots.—Gainsborough—for greedy tradesmen; Gnosall—for wiseacres; Gravesend—for sextons; Great Barr—for constant topers; Grind-on—for crammers; Halt-whistle—for football umpires; Hastings—for wasps; Hawkshead—for falconers; Honi-ton—for busy bees; Hoot-on—for owls.
Cry of the Travelling Smoker.—En briar root!
