The Festive Season.
Visitor to the District (who has missed his way). "Can you tell me, my good man, if I shall pass the 'Red Lion' inn along this road?"
The Village Toper. "Oi wouldn't like to be saying wut a gen'leman loike ye wud be doin'; but Oi'm parfect sartin Oi shouldn't!"
Queen's Hotel, Ambleside, 3 o'clock, a.m.—"Tom!" (No response.) "I say, Tom!" (No answer.) "Tom!" (A muffled grunt.) "Tom—Fire!"
"Eh? What? What do you say?"
"I say Tom, do you think your key will fit my bag?"
"No—'t won't—Chubb!"
[Objurgations, and midnight disturber retires.
