THE LAY OF A SUCCESSFUL ANGLER
The dainty artificial fly
Designed to catch the wily trout,
Full loud laudabunt alii,
And I will join, at times, no doubt,
But yet my praise, without pretence,
Is not from great experience.
I talk as well as anyone
About the different kinds of tackle,
I praise the Gnat, the Olive Dun,
Discuss the worth of wings and hackle
I've flies myself of each design,
No book is better filled than mine.
But when I reach the river's side
Alone, for none of these I wish,
No victim to a foolish pride,
My object is to capture fish;
Let me confess, then, since you ask it—
A worm it is which fills my basket!
O brown, unlovely, wriggling worm,
On which with scorn the haughty look,
It is thy fascinating squirm
Which brings the fattest trout to book,
From thee unable to refrain,
Though flies are cast for him in vain!
Deep gratitude to thee I feel,
And then, perhaps, it's chiefly keen,
When rival anglers view my creel,
And straightway turn a jealous green;
And, should they ask me—"What's your fly?"
"A fancy pattern," I reply!
Catching crabs and flounders in the Thames
Catching wails at Whippingham
Catching soles and skate on the (sea) Serpentine
Catching whiting from the Strand
Something like a Catch.—Mrs. Binks (sick of it). "Really, John! How can you bear to spend your time whip—whip—whipping at the stream all day long and never a single fish taking the least notice of you?"
John. "Ah, but think o' the delight, Maria, when you do get a fish! Lor' bless us, my dear, have you forgotten the day when you hooked me?"
From Dee-side.—Piscator. "Yes, my boy, ain't he a beauty? Forty pounds—three foot eight from tail to snout—fresh run! I'm going to have him photographed, with a full-grown man standing by, to show the proportions. By the way"—(faintly)—"would—er—would you mind being the man?"
Imperturbable Boatman. "Haud up yer rod, man! Ye have 'm! ye have 'm!"
Anecdote by Izaak Walton.—One Piscator, whom I will not further name, had a certain acquaintance who, through the credit he had gotten by his wealth, worth, and wit, came to be made a magistrate. Whereupon Piscator goes me to the river and catches a fish, which having brought home, he sends to the new-made justice with a note, saying, "Inasmuch, sir, as you are now promoted to the condition of a beak, I do send you a perch."
ANGLING EXTRAORDINARY
Customer (in a great hurry). "A small box of gentles, please. And look sharp! I want to catch a 'bus!!"