SHEER IGNORANCE
Benevolent Person. "Come, my little man, you musn't cry like that!"
Boy. "Garn! 'Ow am I to cry then?"
"I say, Billie, teacher says as if we 'angs our stockings up on C'ris'mas Eve, Santa Claus 'll fill 'em with presents!" "It'll take 'im all 'is time to fill mine. I 'aven't got no foots in 'em!"
On his Dignity.—Sam. "Mamma bought me a pair of gloves yesterday." Auntie. "Really! What are they? Kids?" Sam. "No, they're men's."
Sharp (but vulgar) little boy. "Hallo, missus, wot are those?" Old Woman. "Twopence." Boy. "What a lie! They're apples."
[Exit, whistling popular air.
A Difficult Case.—Mamma. You're a very naughty boy, Tommy, and I shall have to buy a whip, and give you a good whipping. Now will you be good?
Tommy (with hesitation). Shall I be allowed to keep the whip after, mammy?
Old Gent. "Do you know what a lie is, sir?" Little Boy. "Oh, don't I, jest; I tells lots of 'em."
Old Lady. "No, thanks. I don't want any for the garden to-day." Boy. "Well, then, can we sing yer some Christmas carols instead?"
