"TOO CLEVER BY HALF"
Tommy and Johnnie were boys at school,
Tommy was clever, but Johnnie a fool;
Tommy at lessons was sharp and bright,
Johnnie could never do anything right.
Genius often is known to fail;
Tommy turned forger, and went to jail.
Johnnie, though slow as he well could be,
Plodded away and became M.P.
"Conservation of Tissue."—Uncle. "Well, Tommy, you see I'm back; are you ready? What have I to pay for, miss?" Miss. "Three buns, four sponge cakes, two sandwiches, one jelly, five tarts, and——" Uncle. "Good gracious, boy! Are you not ill?" Tommy. "No, uncle; but I'm thirsty."
Benevolent Old Gentleman. "Now then, little boy. What do you mean by bullying that little girl? Don't you know it's very cruel?"
Rude Little Boy. "Garn! wot's the trouble? She's my Sweetheart!"
Grandpapa. "Well little lady, will you give me a lock of that pretty hair of yours?" Marjory. "Yes, granpa'; but"—(hesitating)—"I don't fink one lock would be enough, would it?"
