MARRIAGE MEMORIES
What the Father says.—Which side must I stand on when I give her away?
What the Mother says.—I am sure the ices will be late for the breakfast.
What the Sister says.—I flatter myself I am the best looking of the eight bridesmaids.
What the Brother says.—Of course, the best man is behind his time—just like him!
What the Pew-opener says.—This way, my dear young lady!
What the Beadle says.—They are sure to be in time, sir. I will motion to you the moment I see 'em a coming.
What the Clergyman says.—Have you got the ring?
What the Crowd says.—Hoorray! That's 'er! Oh, ain't 'e a guy!
What the Old Friend of the Family says.—I have known him too since he was so high. That was nigh upon forty years ago!
What the Funny Man says.—You can see from my face that I am just the man to be associated with the bridesmaids.
What the Best Man says.—Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking.
What the Bride says.—Good-bye, my own darling mamma and papa, and—Emmy dear, please do see the things are all right before we start.
What the Bridegroom says.—Thank goodness, it is all over.
"DECEIVERS EVER"
Goldsmith. "Would you like any name or motto engraved on it, sir?"
Customer (who had chosen an engagement ring). "Ye—yes—um—'Augustus to Irene.' And—ah—loo' here—don't—ah—cut 'Irene' very deep!!"