ROYAL ALBERT HALL TO DAY
"I 'ear this 'ere Patti ain't 'arf bad!"
"Would you gentlemen like to look at the old church?"
"Ho, yus. We're nuts on old churches!"
Quoth an eminent literary man, in the hearing of 'Arry, "All George Meredith's poetry might be republished under one title as 'Our Georgics.'"
"Oo's ''Icks'?" asked 'Arry.
"The Teaching of Erse in Ireland."—"Well," says 'Arry, "it sounds uncommon funereal. O' course I knew an erse and plumes and coal black 'osses is what they call a 'moral lesson.' But why make such a fuss about it in Ireland?"
An Awkward Name.—'Arry, on a marine excursion, hearing mention made of the two sea-birds the great auk and the little auk, inquired if the little auk was a sparrow-'awk.
"He is the greatest liar on (H)earth," as the Cockney said of the lap-dog he often saw lying before the fire.
