"A THREE-CARD LAY"
Long ago in Sweet September,
Oh! the day I well remember,
I was playing on the Links against the winsomest of maids;
In a "cup" my ball was lying,
And the "divots" round were flying,
And with eyes-a-dance she said to me, "Your iron's the King of Spades!"
Now a foe, on such occasion,
Of the feminine persuasion,
Fair and twenty to the game a sort of subtlety imparts;
And I felt its potent glamour,
And I answered with a stammer
Shy and nervous, "It was rash of me to play the Queen of Hearts!"
Any further explanation
Of my inward admiration
Very likely had exposed me to the deadliest of snubs!
But a snigger from behind me
Just in time came to remind me
Of the presence of my caddie—and I blessed the Knave of Clubs!
GLORIOUS UNCERTAINTY
Scene—At the Golf Club.
She. "Good-bye, Major. What's the programme for to-morrow?"
The Major. "Oh, either skating or punting, according to the weather."