GOLFING NOTES
"Denmark is the latest of the Continental nations to receive golf."—The Tatler.
But golf must have flourished at Denmark in Hamlet's time, judging by the above reproduction of a very ancient mural decoration which has just come to light.
See also quotation Hamlet, Act II., Scene 2:—" ... drives; in rage, strikes wide!"
Encouragement.—Professional Golfer (in answer to anxious question). "Weel, no, sir, at your time o' life, ye can never hope to become a player; but if ye practise hard for three years, ye may be able to tell good play from bad when ye see it!"
Bertie (to caddie, searching for lost ball). "What are you looking there for? Why, I must have driven it fifty yards further!"
Diplomatic Caddie. "But sometimes they hit a stone, sir, and bounce back a terrible distance!"
Old Hand. "Ah, I heard you'd joined. Been round the links yet?"
New Hand. "Oh, yes. Went yesterday."
Old Hand. "Whot did you go round in?"
New Hand. "Oh, my ordinary clothes!"
Golfing Amenities. (Overheard on a course within 100 miles of Edinburgh).—Hopeless Duffer (who continually asks his caddy the same question, with much grumbling at the non-success of his clubs). "And what shall I take now?"
His Unfortunate Partner (whose match has been lost and game spoilt, at last breaking out). "What'll ye tak noo! The best thing ye can tak is the fower fifteen for Edinburgh!"
The Pedantry of Sport.—First Golf Maniac. I played a round with Captain Bulger the other day.
Second G.M. When did you get to know him?
First G.M. Oh, about the end of the Gutty Ball period.
Cheerful Beginner (who has just smashed the Colonel's favourite driver). "Oh, now I see why you have to carry so many clubs!"
