THE MOAN OF THE MAIDEN
(After Tennyson)
Golf! Golf! Golf!
By the side of the sounding sea;
And I would that my ears had never
Heard aught of the "links" and the "tee."
Oh, well for the man of my heart,
That he bets on the "holes" and the play;
Oh, well for the "caddie" that carries
The "clubs," and earns his pay.
He puts his red coat on,
And he roams on the sandy hill;
But oh! for the touch of that golfer's hand,
That the "niblick" wields with a will.
Golf! Golf! Golf!
Where the "bunkers" vex by the sea;
But the days of Tennis and Croquet
Will never come back to me!
Virgil on Golf.—"Miscueruntque herbas et non innoxia verba." Georgics, 3, 283.
To Correspondents.—"An Inexperienced Golfer" writes to inquire whether what he has heard about "the Tee Duty" will in any way affect the "caddies."
Willing to Compensate.—Mrs. Lightfoot. "Oh, wait a minute, Mr. Sharp—don't drive yet. My husband is still on the green."
Mr. Sharp. "Never mind. I'll risk it. For if I do bowl him over, why, I'm ready to replace him any time!"