DESPERATE RESOLVES OF THE LAST MAN LEFT IN TOWN

To visit the National Gallery (for the first time), as an Englishman should really know something about the art treasures of his native country.

To spend an hour at the Tower (also for the first time), because there you will be able to brighten up your historical recollections which have become rather rusty since you took your B.A. degree just fifteen years ago.

To enter St. Paul's Cathedral with a view to thinking out a really good plan of decoration for the benefit of those who read letters addressed to the editor of the Times.

To take a ride in an omnibus from Piccadilly to Brompton to see what the interior of the vehicle in question is like, and therein to study the manners and customs of the English middle classes.

To walk in Rotten Row between the hours of twelve (noon) and two (p.m.) to see how the place looks without any people in it.

To have your photograph taken in your militia uniform, as now there is no one in town to watch you getting out of a cab in full war paint.

To stroll into Mudie's Library to get all the new novels, because after reading them you may suddenly find yourself inspired to write a critique that will make your name (when the article has been accepted and published) as a most accomplished reviewer.

To read all the newspapers and magazines at the hairdresser's while your head is being shampooed (for the fourth time), as now is the time for improving your mind (occupied with so many other things during the season) with popular current literature.

To walk to your club (closed for repairs, &c.) to see how the workmen are progressing with the stone scraping of the exterior, as you feel yourself responsible to hundreds of your fellow-creatures as a member of the house committee.

To write a long letter to your friend Brown, of the 121st Foot, now in India with his regiment, to tell him how nothing is going on anywhere, because you have not written to him since he said "Good-bye" to you at Southampton.

To go home to bed at nine o'clock, as early hours are good for the health, and because there is really nothing else to do.

And last, but not least, to leave London for the country by the very first train to-morrow morning!