HOUSEHOLD HINTS FOR ECONOMICAL MANAGERS
How to Obtain a good Serviceable Light Porter.—Take a pint of stout, and add a quart of spring water. There you have him.
How to make Hats last.—Make everything else first.
How to Prevent Ale from Spoiling.—Drink it.
How to Avoid being Considered above your Business.—Never live over your shop.
How to make your Servants rise.—Send them up to sleep in the attics.
Bus Driver (to charioteer of broken-down motor-car). "I've been tellin' yer all the week to taike it 'ome, an' now yer wants to, yer cawn't!"