IN A TRAM-CAR
Lady (with smelly basket of fish). "Dessay you'd rather 'ave a gentleman settin' a-side of you?"
Gilded Youth (who has been edging away). "Yes, I would."
Lady. "Same'ere!"
Inquisitive Guardian. "By the way, have you any children?"
Applicant for Relief. "No."
Guardian. "But—er—surely I know a son of yours?"
Applicant. "Well, I don't suppose you'd call a child children!"
"Please, sir, tuppence worth of butter scrapin's, an' mother says be sure they're all clean, 'cause she's expectin' company."
