POINT IX. A NEW WAY TO PAY OLD DEBTS,
A Scene from "Les Barons de Felsheim."
One evening that those heroes, the Baron of Felsheim and Brandt, were reclined on their beds, beginning to drink freely, relating their high feats, and, with becoming modesty, comparing themselves to nothing less than an Eugene or a Marlborough, Brandt was on a sudden struck with a sort of inspiration.—"We are very comfortable here," said he to the Baron.—"Very well indeed," replied Ferdinand XV. with a slight symptom of ebriety.—"No more guard at night."—"No longer compelled to drink water."—"No more black bread, Colonel."—"No more Frenchmen, Brandt, though we beat them sometimes, eh?"—"Aye, but with the loss of an eye." —"And my poor arm, you have not forgot that?"—"No more than I have your leg."—"My leg, my leg, ah! that was a sad affair."—"Your health, Colonel."
"Your's, Brandt."—"I foresee but one little accident, my Lord, that can disturb our present felicity."—"What's that?"—"O nothing, a mere trifle.—I was thinking that the good Jews of Franckfort may, if they please, turn the Baron of Felsheim out of his own castle."—"Faith! I had forgot those scoundrels," answered the Baron, drinking a bumper; "however, you shall go to Franckfort to-morrow morning, collect the rabble together, and bring them here. I will receive them in that famous tower, where Witikind, with only thirty Saxons, stopped, for three days, an army of one hundred thousand men, led by Charlemagne in person. The place will inspire them with that veneration for my person which its shattered state no longer enforces."—"I will go, Colonel."—"If they are reasonable—we will pay them."—"If they are not—we must sabre them."—"That is well said, Brandt,—bravo!"—"Let us drink, Colonel."—"With all my heart."
The next morning, at break of day, Brandt saddled his horse, gallopped towards Franckfort, assembled the Israelites, imparted to them the good intentions of his master, appointed a day the Colonel would be ready to receive them, and then returned to the castle.
The punctuality of a good soldier to be at his post in the hour of battle, of a lover in keeping the first appointment of his mistress, or of a courtier at the levee, is not to be compared with the precision of a Jew, who has money to receive. Those of Franckfort arrived on the appointed day, at the appointed hour, and long before the Baron had slept himself sober. Brandt went to inform him of the arrival of his creditors, assisted him in putting on a dressing-gown of blue velvet lined with green stuff, which descended from Ferdinand XIII. and which Ferdinand XIV. had never worn but to give his public audiences; tied his sabre over the said gown, placed his double-barrelled pistols in his belt, combed his whiskers, and put a white cap over that of dirty brown, which he commonly wore. The Baron, thus accoutred, came forth from his bed-chamber, leaning on his Squire's shoulder; walked majestically through two rows, formed by his creditors, and was followed by them to the tower of Witikind.
After depositing, on a worm-eaten table, his naked sword and his pistols, the Baron seated himself in an immense arm-chair, stroked his whiskers, and spoke in the following terms:—
"Rogues that you are; I have summoned you here to free myself from your importunities."—The Jews made a profound reverence. "I have served the descendant of Cæsar, who is no better than the descendant of Witikind:—but, no matter, I have served him. I have been in want of money, and have subscribed to your own terms; now I hold the purse, and dictate in my turn. I will give you half what I owe you, provided you sign a receipt for the whole." The Jews were shocked at this proposal, and were about to expostulate, but Brandt, giving them a fierce look, imposed silence, and the Baron repeated his offer. The creditors shook their heads, in token of discontent. Ferdinand XV. swore, by his ancestors, that he would cause all the bailiffs, who should dare to approach his castle, to be thrown into the ditch, and Brandt swore, by Prince Eugene, that he would immediately treat the Saxon Jews, as the Arabian Jews had treated the Amalekites, if they did not agree to a compromise; on saying which, he brandished his sabre over the heads of the Israelites, who continued, however, unintimidated. A Jew has no fear for his head, when he trembles for his money.
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The Baron began to be uneasy, swore between his teeth, and was a little embarrassed, when Brandt, who loved gentle means as well as any body, when he found nothing else would succeed, advised the Colonel to leave the room, took up the pistols, went out himself by a postern door, threatened to blow out the brains of the first who should dare to move, and shut up the Israelites in the tower.
Although they passed a great part of the day without food, they still continued obstinate. At length their physical thirst equalled their thirst for gold, and they endeavoured to move the iron bars, which Ferdinand XI. had fixed to the windows. The relentless Brandt, who was armed with a double-barrelled gun, and who kept a sharp look-out, opposed himself so warmly to their attempt that they were obliged to abandon it. They then asked for quarter, but Brandt's only reply was, "Will you take the half of your money?" The Jews signified their dissent by withdrawing from the window.
When night approached, Brandt, fearing to be surprised, lighted a fire at the foot of the tower, and he and the Jews spent the hours in watching each other's motions. The next morning, the prisoners began to feel the cravings of nature, and one of them demanded a parley. "Will you have half?" was again the demand of the inflexible Brandt. "We will take two thirds," said a voice. Brandt pretended not to hear it, and continued to walk to and fro, with his musket on his shoulder.
At twelve o'clock, the Jews, no longer able to resist the hunger which tormented them, requested another conference; and, with seeming reluctance, agreed to take the half of their debt. "You shall have but one third," replied Brandt; "and, if you do not capitulate instantly, you shall have nothing." About four, a Jew, almost fainting, said, "Give us the half."—"You shall have but a quarter," said Brandt. "Well, let us conclude for a quarter," replied the Israelite: "there are Christians possessed of less mercy than Jews."
Brandt ran immediately to fetch some paper and a small ink-stand, tied the whole at the end of a long pole, which he presented to the prisoners, and ordered them to give a receipt for three parts of the debt, which was executed instantly, and he received it back by the same conveyance. He carried this valuable acquisition to the Baron, from whom he received a small bag of imperial florins, came back to the tower, paid the remaining quarter, and was particularly careful in obtaining the title-deeds. He then conducted the Jews to the door, with great civility, and they departed, wishing him most heartily at the devil.
By way of rejoicing, for the very economical manner in which the Baron had discharged his debts, Brandt placed upon the table a large piece of smoked bacon, and an old cock roasted; and it was agreed, for once, that they should begin to drink at five o'clock, even at the risk of not finding their way to bed until the next morning.