ANONYMOUS.
A shrewd and wealthy old landlord, away down in Maine, is noted for driving his "sharp bargains," by which he has amassed a large amount of property. He is the owner of a large number of dwelling-houses, and it is said of him that he is not over-scrupulous of his rental charges, whenever he can find a customer whom he knows to be responsible. His object is to lease his house for a term of years to the best tenants, and get the uttermost farthing in the shape of rent.
A diminutive Frenchman called on him last winter, to hire a dwelling he owned in Portland, and which had long remained empty. References were given, and the landlord, ascertaining that the tenant was a man "after his own heart," immediately commenced to "Jew" him. He found that the tenement appeared to suit the Frenchman, and he placed an exorbitant price upon it; the leases were drawn and duly executed, and the tenant removed into his new quarters.
Upon kindling fires in the house, it was found that the chimneys wouldn't "draw," and the building was filled with smoke. The window-sashes rattled in the wind at night, and the cold air rushed through a hundred crevices about the house until now unnoticed. The snow melted upon the roof, and the attics were drenched from the leakage. The rain pelted, and our Frenchman found a "natural" bathroom upon the second floor—but the lease was signed and the landlord chuckled.
"I have been vat you sall call 'tuck in,' vis zis maison," muttered our victim to himself a week afterwards, "but n'importe, ve sal se vat ve sal see."
Next morning he arose bright and early, and passing down he encountered the landlord.
"Ah ha!—Bon jour, monsieur," said he in his happiest manner.
"Good day, sir. How do you like your house?"
"Ah monsieur—elegant, beautiful, magnificent. Eh bien, monsieur, I have ze one regret!"
"Ah! What is that?"
"I sal live in zat house but tree little year."
"How so?"
"I have find by vot you call ze lease, zat you have give me ze house but for tree year, and I ver mooch sorrow for zat."
"But you can have it longer if you wish—"
"Ah, monsieur, sal be ver mooch glad if I can have zat house so long as I please—eh—monsieur?"
"Oh, certainly, certainly, sir."
"Tres bien, monsieur! I sal valk rite to your offees, and you sal give me vot you call ze lease for that maison jes so long as I sal vant the house. Eh, monsieur?"
"Certainly, sir. You can stay there your lifetime, if you like."
"Ah, monsieur—I have ver mooch tanks for zis accommodation."
The old lease was destroyed and a new one was delivered in form to the French gentleman, giving him possession of the premises for "such a period as the lessee may desire the same, he paying the rent promptly, etc."
The next morning our crafty landlord was passing the house just as the French-man's last load of furniture was being started from the door; an hour afterward, a messenger called on him with a legal tender, for the rent for eight days, accompanied with a note as follows:
"Monsieur—I have been smoke—I have been drouned—I have been frees to death, in ze house vat I av hire of you for ze period as I may desire. I have stay in ze house jes so long as I please, and ze bearer of zis vill give you ze key! Bon jour, monsieur."
It is needless to add that our landlord has never since been known to give up "a bird in the hand for one in the bush."