WIDDER BUDD.
I'm fifty, I'm fair, and without a gray hair,
An' I feel just ez young as a girl.
When I think o' Zerubbabel Lee, I declare
It sets me all into a whirl.
Last night he waz here, an' I told him to "clear"—
An' my! How supprised he did look:
Perhaps I wuz rash, but he's after my cash—
I see through his plans like a book.
Some offers I've had that I cannot call bad;
There was Deacon Philander Breezee;
I'd a sartin sed Yes, when he wanted a kiss,
Ef he hadn't so flustrated me.
It took me so quick that it felt like a kick—
I flew all to pieces at once;
Sez I, "You kin go—I'm not wanting a beau;"
I acted, I know, like a dunce.
Sez he, ez he rose, "I hev come to propose."
I stopped him afore he began:
Sez I, "You kin go, an' see Hepzibah Stow—
I won't be tied down to a man."
"Mariar," ses he, "Widder Tompkins an' me
Kin strike up a bargain, I know;
An', seein' ez we can't decide to agree,
I guess that I hed better go."
He picked up his hat from the chair where it sat,
An' solemnly started away.
Sez I, with a look that I'm sure he mistook,
"You're perfectly welcome to stay."
My face got ez red ez our old waggin-shed—
I thought for the land I should melt.
Sez he, "I am done. Good night, leetle one,"
I wish he'd a known how I felt.
To-day, Isaac Beers, with his snickers and sneers,
Whose face is ez ugly ez sin,
Dropped in just to see about buyin' my steers,
An' tickled the mole on my chin.
Sez I, "You jest quit; I don't like you a bit;
You can't come your sawder on me.
You'd better behave till Jane's cold in her grave,
Your manners is ruther too free."
When dear David died (sniff—sniff), ez I sot by his side (sniff—sniff);
He ketched up my hand in his own (sniff—sniff);
He squeezed it awhile (sniff—sniff), an' he sez with a smile (sniff—sniff),
"You'll soon be a widder alone (sniff—sniff—sniff),
An' when I am gone (sniff—sniff) don't you fuss an' take on (sniff—sniff)
Like old Widder Dorothy Day (sniff—sniff).
Look out for your tin (sniff—sniff) if you marry agin (sniff—sniff),
Nor throw your affections away (sniff—sniff—sniff)."
My children hev grown, an' have homes o' their own—
They're doin' ez well ez they can (wipes her eyes and nose):
An' I'm gettin' sick o' this livin' alone—
I wouldn't mind havin' a man.
Fur David hez gone to the mansion above—
His body is cold in the ground,
Ef you know of a man who would marry for love,
Jest find him an' send him around.