1. THE FLOOD
And it came to pass that King Hun called together his mighty men and said unto them:
2. “Behold I have dreamed a dream, and the Gott of Boasts hath appeared unto me and said:
3. “‘Bring together all your ships of the sea, your wealth of the land, and your mighty men of valour, including your first-born.
4. “‘For I say unto you, now is The Day.
5. “‘Ye shall go forth to battle against the kingdoms of the earth to wage war against all who do not bow down to thee and call thee “The One.”
6. “‘For I have decreed that thou shalt rule the earth to the uttermost corners of it.
7. “‘Let thou and thy son take but six days’ rations in your haversacks, for on the seventh day thou shalt dine at the Palace of the Buckinghamites with the King of the Allyites as thy mess orderly.
8. “‘Forget not thy pomade nor thy tooth-brush, neither shalt thou leave behind thy gases nor thine iron rations, for thou mayest have need of them.
9. “‘And go ye forth to kill and plunder; spare none, but put all to the sword; and put your trust in yourself alone—and—er, myself, if it so please thee.
10. “‘For this is The Day.’”
11. And all his mighty men bowed down to him and said: “O King, live for ever; verily thou hast truly said, and thy kingdom shall extend to the ends of the earth and the heavens and to the depths of the sea.”
12. So King Hun blew his bags out, smote him on the chest, and called aloud, saying, “I am IT.”
13. And the same day he brought together all his legions of men and his ships of the sea and all the wealth of the land: for they were all ready.
14. And they counted and found umpteen million men of valour, two ships, seventeen anchors, fourteen shillings and fivepence in gold, umpteen billion rolls of paper money and ennygottsquantitee gas.
15. But they left the two ships at home, fastened to the seventeen anchors.
16. And the King-of-all-the-Huns said, “It is enough, IMSHEE!”[22]
17. So they imsheed.
18. Now, it came to pass that the Huns ran amok both East and West, North and South, and their cry was “Strafe!” and “Ber-lud!” and they got both in abundance.
19. For they threw themselves on the neighbouring villages, breaking through the back gate without warning, and slaying the watchdog and the pig, the husbandman and his wife, the baby and the nurse, the cat and the canary.
20. Nor even did the Boy-about-the-place have time to reach his air-gun from off the shelf; for the Mad Mass tarried not to wipe its sword, but only to quench its blood-lust and its thirst.
21. And when they had laid waste all that land, they boiled over into the next.
22. But it came to pass that by this time the cries of murder and children in torment had reached far and wide, and before another sun had set two men met the horde of Huns.
23. And the Huns lifted up their bleary eyes and asked, “Gott strafe, but who vas dis dat do dry stob our leedle game?”
24. And the Man-from-the-west with the strong arm and the iron jaw proclaimed to the multitude,
25. “I am K. of K., and THIS IS THE END OF THE SECTION.”
26. And the Butchers all lifted up their voices with one accord, saying, “Gott sh-sh-traf,” and “Hic, Ber-lud.”
27. But the Huns stopped, yea, verily.
28. And so it came to pass that the King of the Huns dined not at the Palace of the Buckinghamites with the King of the Allyites as his mess orderly—neither on the sixth day nor in the sixth year.
29. But the King of the Huns and Little Willie ate their iron rations instead.
30. And the flood was over the face of the earth for many days and many nights till the Mighty Winds arose and drove it back.
31. And behold, the King of the Huns said unto himself, “Verily, it was a dream, and instead of ‘The Day’ is now nothing but ‘The Night.’”
32. So he fell asleep.
33. And great was the fall thereof.
Genesis Gallipoli.