OF THE BARBER.
During the reign of the Caliph Mostanser Billah, [9] a prince so famous for his great liberality towards the poor, there were ten robbers, who very much infested the roads in the neighbourhood of Bagdad; and were for a long time guilty of great depredations and horrible cruelties. The caliph having been informed of this great outrage, ordered the judge of the police some days before the feast of Bairam to come to him: and commanded him, under pain of death, to bring them all ten before him. The judge of the police was very active; and sent out so many of his men into the country, that the ten robbers were taken on the very day of the feast. I happened to be walking at that time on the banks of the Tigris, where I observed ten very well dressed men, who embarked on board a boat. I should have known that they had been robbers, if I had paid any attention to the guard who accompanied them: but I observed only the robbers themselves; and thinking that they were men, who were going to enjoy themselves and pass this day in festivity, I got into the boat at the same time with them, without saying a word; in hopes that they would suffer me to accompany them. We rowed down the Tigris, and they made us land at the caliph’s palace. By this time, I had an opportunity of recollecting myself; and perceiving that I had formed a wrong opinion of my companions. When we got out of the boat, we were surrounded by a fresh party of the guards belonging to the judge of the police, who bound us and carried us before the caliph. I suffered myself to be bound like the rest, still without saying a word: for what use would it have been to me, either to have remonstrated, or to have made any resistance? It would only have been the cause of my being ill-treated by the guards, who would have paid no attention to me; for they are brutes, who will not hear reason. I was, in fact, with the robbers, and that was quite enough for them to believe, that I really was one.
As soon as we were come before the caliph, he ordered these ten rascals to be punished. “Strike off,” said he, “the heads of these ten robbers. The executioner immediately ranged us in a line within reach of his arm, and fortunately I was the very last. He then, beginning with the first, struck off the heads of the ten robbers; but when he came to me he stopped. The caliph observing, that the executioner did not cut off my head, called out in anger, “Have I not ordered thee to cut off the heads of the ten robbers? Why then hast thou cut off only nine?”—“Commander of the Faithful,” replied the executioner, “God forbid, that I should not execute your majesty’s orders. You may see here ten bodies on the ground, and as many heads, which I have cut off.” He then counted them. When the caliph himself saw that the executioner was right, he looked at me with astonishment; and finding that I did not possess the countenance of a robber,—“My good old man,” said he, “by what accident were you found among these wretches, who deserved a thousand deaths?”—“Commander of the Faithful,” I replied, “I will tell you the absolute truth: I this morning saw these ten persons, whose punishment is an illustrious proof of your majesty’s justice, get into a boat: being fully persuaded, that they were people, who were going to enjoy themselves in a party to celebrate this day, which is the most distinguished of our religion, I embarked with them.”
The caliph could not help laughing at my adventure; and, quite contrary to the lame young man, who treated me as a babbler, he admired my discretion and power of keeping silence. “Commander of the Faithful,” said I to him, “let not your majesty be astonished, if I hold my tongue upon any occasion, when another person would have been most anxious to have spoken. I make it my particular study to practise silence, and it is from the possession of this virtue, that I have acquired the glorious title of the silent man. I am called thus, in order to distinguish me from six brothers of mine. It is an art, which my philosophy has taught me; in short, this virtue is the cause of all my glory and my happiness.”—“I heartily rejoice,” answered the caliph, smiling, “that they have bestowed a title upon you, of which you make so excellent a use. But inform me what sort of men your brothers were: did they at all resemble you?”—“Not in the least;” I answered, “they were every one chatterers; and in person there was the greatest difference between us. The first was hunch-backed; the second was toothless; the third had but one eye; the fourth was quite blind; the fifth had his ears cut off: the sixth was hare-lipped. The various adventures which happened to them would enable your majesty to judge of their characters, if I might have the honour to relate them.” As I thought the caliph wished for nothing better than to hear them, I went on without waiting for his answer.