OF THE BARBER’S FIFTH BROTHER.
I have the honour to inform you, that the name of my fifth brother was Alnaschar, who, while he lived with my father, was excessively idle: instead of working for his bread, he was not ashamed of demanding sufficient for his support every evening, and to live upon it the next day. Our father at last died at a very advanced period of life, and all he left us consisted of seven hundred drachms of silver. We divided it equally among us, and each took one hundred for his share. Alnaschar, who had never before been in possession of so much money at a time, found himself very much embarrassed with the disposal of it. He debated a long time in his own mind on this subject, and at last determined to lay it out in the purchase of glasses, bottles, and other glass articles, which he went to get at a large wholesale merchant’s. He put the whole of his stock into an open basket, and fixed upon a very small shop, where he sat down with the basket before him; and, leaning his back against the wall, waited for customers to buy his merchandise.
While he was remaining in this attitude, with his eyes fixed upon his basket, he began to meditate; and in the midst of his reverie, he pronounced the following speech sufficiently loud for a tailor, who was his neighbour, to hear him. “This basket,” said he, “cost me one hundred drachms, and that is all I am worth in the world. In selling its contents by retail, I shall do well in making two hundred drachms: and of these two hundred which I shall employ again in glass ware, I shall make four hundred drachms. By continuing this traffic, I shall, in process of time, amass the sum of four thousand drachms. With these four thousand, I shall easily make eight. And as soon as I am worth ten thousand, I will leave off selling glass ware and turn jeweller. I will then deal in diamonds, pearls, and all sorts of precious stones. When I shall be in possession of as much wealth as I wish, I will purchase a beautiful house, large estates, eunuchs, slaves, and horses. I will entertain handsomely and largely, and shall make some noise in the world. I will make all the musicians and dancers, both male and female, who live in the city, come to my house. Nor will I remain satisfied, till I have realized, if it shall please God, one hundred thousand drachms. And when I shall become thus rich, I shall think myself equal to a prince; and I will send and demand the daughter of the grand vizier in marriage, and represent to him that I have heard most astonishing reports of the beauty, wisdom, wit, and every other good quality of his daughter: and in short, that I will bestow upon her, the very night of our nuptials, a thousand pieces of gold. If the vizier should be so ill-bred as to refuse me his daughter, though I know that will not be the case, I will go and take her away before his face, and bring her home in spite of him.
As soon as I shall have married the grand vizier’s daughter, I will purchase ten very young and well-made black eunuchs for her. I will dress myself like a prince; and will parade through the town, mounted on a fine horse, the saddle of which shall be of pure gold, and the caparisons of gold stuff, relieved with diamonds and pearls. I will be accompanied by slaves, who shall go both before and behind me, and will thus proceed to the palace of the vizier, with the eyes of all fixed upon me, both nobles and others, who will make me the most profound reverence as I go along. When I shall have dismounted at the grand vizier’s, and come to the bottom of the staircase, I will ascend between my people, ranged in two rows to the right and left; and the grand vizier, in receiving me for his son-in-law, shall give me his place, and seat himself before me, in order to show me the more respect. If all this should happen, as I hope it will, two of my men shall have a purse, each containing one thousand pieces of gold, which I had ordered them to bring. I will then take one of them, and in presenting it to the grand vizier will say, “Behold the thousand pieces of gold, which I have promised you on the first night of my marriage.” Then offering him the other, I will add, “This is not all; to show you that I am a man of my word, and to prove that I give you more than I promise, receive this other purse of equal value.” After such an act as this, my generosity will be the conversation of all the world.
I will then return home with the same pomp. My wife shall send some officer to compliment me on my visit to her father. I will bestow a beautiful robe of honor on the officer, and send him back with a rich present. If in return she shall wish to make me a present, I will refuse it; and dismiss the person who brings it. I will not, moreover, permit her to leave her apartments upon any account whatever, without first consulting me; and, whenever I wish to go to her, it shall always be in a way that shall impress her with the greatest respect for me. In short, no house shall be so well regulated as mine. I will always appear magnificently dressed; and, whenever I wish to pass the evening with her, I will sit in the most honorable seat, where I will affect a grave and solemn air; nor will I turn my head to the right or left. I will speak but little: and while my wife, beautiful as the moon at the full, presents herself before me in all her splendor, I will pretend not to see her. Her women, who will be standing round her, shall say, “My dear lord and master, behold your spouse, the humblest of your slaves, before you. She is waiting for you to caress her; and is much mortified that you do not deign to take the least notice of her. She is greatly fatigued at standing thus long before you; at least, then, give her leave to sit down.” I will not answer a word to this speech, at which their surprise and grief would be much augmented. They will then throw themselves at my feet; and after they shall have remained there a considerable time, entreating and begging me to yield to them, I will at last lift up my head, and casting upon her a sort of negligent unmeaning glance, will then return to my former state. Thinking, perhaps, that my wife may not either be well or properly dressed, they will lead her back to her room, in order to change her habit; and, in the mean time, I will return to my apartment and put on a more magnificent dress than I had before. They will then return a second time; will address the same speech; and I shall again have the pleasure of not looking at my wife, till they shall have prayed and entreated me as long and earnestly as before. And I will thus begin, on the very first day of my marriage, to teach her how she may expect to be treated, during the remainder of her life.
After the various ceremonies of our nuptials are over, continued Alnaschar, I will take a purse from the hands of one of the attendants, containing five hundred pieces of gold, which I will give to the female attendants, that they may leave me alone with my spouse. As soon as they shall have retired, my wife shall go to bed first. I will immediately follow her, and will be the whole night with my back turned towards her, and will not utter a single syllable. The next morning she will not fail to complain to her mother, the lady of the grand vizier, of my pride and neglect; and this will very much delight me. Her mother will then come to see me, and out of respect take and kiss my hands, and say to me, “My lord,” for she will not dare to call me son-in-law, through fear of displeasing me, by speaking with so much familiarity, “I entreat you, my lord, not to despise my child in such a manner, nor keep her at such a distance; I assure you she will always endeavor to please you, and I know her whole heart is devoted to you.” Although my mother-in-law shall address me so respectfully and kindly, I will not answer her a word, but remain as grave and solemn as ever. She will then throw herself at my feet, and after kissing them many times, will say, “My lord, is it possible you suspect the prudence of my daughter; I assure you, I have never suffered her to go out of my sight; and you are the first man who has ever seen her face. Forbear to inflict so great a mortification upon her, and do her the favor to look at and speak to her; and thus strengthen her good intention of endeavoring to satisfy and please you in every thing.”
All this shall have no effect upon me; which my mother-in-law observing, she will then take a glass of wine, and putting it into my wife’s hand, will say, “Go, and present him this glass of wine yourself; he will not, perhaps, have the cruelty to refuse it from so beautiful a hand.” My wife will then take the glass, and stand up before me, trembling all the time. When she observes that I do not incline myself towards her, and that I persist in taking not the least notice of her, she will address me, with her eyes bathed in tears, in these words; “My heart, my dear soul, my amiable lord, I conjure you, by the favors which heaven has so plentifully bestowed upon you, to have the goodness to take this glass of wine from the hand of the humblest of your slaves.” I shall, however, take care neither to look at, nor speak to her. “My charming husband,” will she continue to say, redoubling her tears, and carrying the glass of wine close to my mouth, “I will not cease entreating you till I obtain the favor of your drinking it.” At last, tired and worn out with her solicitations and prayers, I will throw a most terrible glance at her, and will give her a good blow on her cheek, at the same time pushing her so violently from me with my foot, that she shall fall down at the bottom of the sofa.
My brother was so entirely absorbed in these chimerical visions, that he represented the action with his foot, as if it were a reality; and he unfortunately struck his basket of glass ware so violently, that he sent it from one end of his shop into the street, where it was all broken to pieces.
His neighbour, the tailor, who had heard the whole of his extravagant speech, burst out into a fit of laughter when he saw the basket overturned. “Oh, you cruel wretch!” said he to my brother, “ought you not expire with shame at ill-treating a young wife in such a manner, when she has given you no reason for complaint? You must be hard-hearted indeed to pay no attention to the tears, and be insensible to the charms, of so amiable a lady. If I were in the place of your father-in-law, the grand vizier, I would order you a hundred strokes with a leathern strap, and send you round the city, with the praise you so well merit.”
This most unfortunate accident brought my brother to his senses, and knowing that it was his own insupportable pride that had caused it, he beat his breast, tore his garments, and sobbed so violently and loud, that all the neighbourhood soon assembled; and the people who were going by to mid-day prayers, stopped to inquire the cause of all this bustle: and, as this happened to be on a Friday, there were more people than usual. Some pitied Alnaschar, others laughed at his folly. The vanity, however, which he had before possessed, was now entirely annihilated, as well as his property; and he continued weeping at his hard and cruel fate, when a lady of considerable consequence passed by, mounted on a mule very richly caparisoned. The state in which she saw my brother excited her compassion. She asked who he was, and the reason of his crying so violently. They only said, that he was a poor man who had laid out the little money he possessed in a basket of glass ware; and that the basket had fallen down, and all his glass was broken. The lady immediately turned to a eunuch who accompanied her, and ordered him to give my brother what money he had with him. The eunuch obeyed, and put a purse, containing five hundred pieces of gold, into my brother’s hand. Alnaschar was ready to expire with joy at sight of it. He bestowed a thousand blessings on the lady; and after shutting up his shop, where it was now useless for him to stay, he went home.
He made many serious reflections on the good fortune which had so unexpectedly happened to him; and while he was thus employed, he heard some person knock at his door. Before he opened it, he asked who was there; and perceiving it was a female voice, he opened it. “My son,” said she, addressing my brother, “I have a favor to request of you. It is now the time for prayers, and I wish to wash myself, in order to be fit to offer them. Suffer me I entreat you, to come into your house, and afford me a bason of water.” My brother looked at her, and saw she was rather advanced in years; and although he did not know her, he nevertheless acceded to what she wished. He gave her a vessel full of water, and then resumed his seat. He was again quite absorbed with his adventure; he took his gold and put it into a sort of long and narrow purse, adapted to the purpose of carrying it at his girdle. The old woman, in the mean time, said her prayers; and when she had finished, she approached my brother, and prostrated herself twice at his feet, so low, that her forehead touched the ground, as if she was praying to God; then getting up, she wished my brother all manner of prosperity, and thanked him for his kindness.
As she was but very meanly dressed, and humbled herself so much before him, he thought that she meant to ask charity, and he offered her, therefore, two pieces of gold. The old woman drew back with as much surprise as if my brother had done her an injury. “Good God,” cried she, “what do you mean by this? Is it possible, sir, that you can take me for one of those poor wretches who make a practice of impudently going into people’s houses and demanding charity? Put back your money, for I have no necessity for it, God be praised. I belong to a young lady in this city of most incomparable beauty, and so rich, that she does not let me want for any thing.”
My brother was not cunning enough to perceive the address of the old woman, who refused the two pieces of gold only to dupe him the more. He asked her, if she could not procure him the honor of seeing this lady. “Certainly,” answered she, “and you may even easily be able to marry her; and, in becoming master of her person, you will get possession of all her fortune: take your money and follow me. Delighted with having so unexpectedly received such a large sum of money, and of finding, almost immediately after, a beautiful and rich wife, he lost all recollection of every thing else. He took the five hundred pieces of gold, and suffered the old woman to conduct him.
She went on before, and he followed her till they came to the door of a large house, at which she knocked. He came up to her just as a young female Greek slave opened the door. The old woman made him go in first; he passed through a well paved court, and she then introduced him into a hall, the furniture of which confirmed him in the high opinion he had conceived of the mistress of the house. While the old woman went to inform the young lady of his arrival, he sat down; and as it was rather warm, he took off his turban, and laid it by the side of him. The lady of the house immediately made her appearance, and he was much more struck with her beauty than with the magnificence and richness of her dress. He rose up the moment he perceived her. The lady requested him, with a pleasing air, to resume his place, and seated herself by his side. She expressed great joy at seeing him: and, after some kind compliments, she said to him, “We are not here sufficiently at our ease; come, give me your hand.” At the same instant holding out her own, she led him to a distant apartment, where they remained some time in conversation; she then left him with a promise of returning in a few moments. He waited some time, when, instead of the lady, a large black slave entered, with a scimitar in his hand, and casting a most terrible look at my brother, “What business have you here?” he cried, in a haughty tone. At this sight, Alnaschar was seized with so violent a fright, he could not make any answer. The black immediately stripped him, took away his gold, and wounded him with his scimitar in several parts of his flesh. The poor unfortunate man fell down on the ground, where he remained without motion, though he did not lose his senses. The black slave, thinking he had killed him, asked for some salt, of which the Greek slave brought him a large dish. They then rubbed it over my brother’s wounds, and although the pain he felt was almost intolerable, he had the presence of mind to show no signs of life. The black slave and the young Greek now went away, and the old woman, who had caught my brother in this snare, came and took him by the legs and drew him towards a trap-door, which she opened. She then threw him in, and he perceived that he was in a subterraneous place, in which there were the bodies of different people who had been murdered. It was some time, however, before he knew this, as the violence of the fall had stunned him, and took away his senses. The salt with which his wounds had been rubbed, was what preserved his life; he soon after felt himself sufficiently strong to sit up; and at the end of two days he opened the trap-door in the night, and observing a place in a court, in which he could conceal himself, he remained there till day-break. He then saw the detestable old woman come out; she opened the street-door, and went in search of more prey. As soon as she was gone too far to observe him, he let himself out of this cut-throat house and fled to mine. He then informed me of the numerous adventures he had encountered in so short a space of time.
At the end of a month he was quite cured of his wounds, by means of the infallible remedies I made him apply. He then resolved to revenge himself on the old woman who had so cruelly deceived him. For this purpose, he took a purse large enough to hold five hundred pieces of money, but instead of gold, he filled it with bits of glass.
My brother then tied the purse round his girdle, and disguised himself as an old woman. After which he took a scimitar, and concealed it under his dress. He went out early one morning, and soon met the old hag, who was already walking about the city, seeking to entrap some one or other. Alnaschar accosted her, and feigning the voice of a woman, he said, “Can you do me the favor to lend me a money balance? I am a Persian, and but just arrived in this city. I have brought five hundred pieces of gold from my own country, and I wish to see if they are weight.”—“My good woman,” replied the other, “you could not have addressed yourself to a more proper person than me. You need only follow me and I will take you to the house of my son, who is a money-changer, and he will take a pleasure in weighing the gold for you himself, and save you the trouble. Do not let us lose any time, for fear he should be gone to his shop.” My brother followed her to the same house where she had introduced him the first time, and the door was opened by the Greek slave.
The old woman conducted my brother into the hall, where she bid him wait a moment while she went to find her son. The pretended son then appeared, in the form of that villainous black slave. “Come, my old woman,” he called out, “get up, and follow me.” Having spoken this, he walked on before, to the place where he wished to murder him. Alnaschar got up, and followed the black slave; and as he was going along he drew his scimitar from under his robe, and gave him such a blow on the hind part of the neck, that he cut his head completely off. He then took it up in one hand, and with the other he drew the body after him to the subterraneous building, where he lodged both of them in safety. The Greek slave, who was used to this business, directly after brought a bason of salt; but when she saw Alnaschar with the scimitar in his hand, and without the veil that had concealed his face, she let the bason fall and ran away: but my brother being able to run faster, soon overtook her, and made her head fly from her shoulders. At hearing this noise, the wicked old woman ran to see what was the matter, when Alnaschar seized her, before she had time to make her escape. “Wretch,” he exclaimed, “dost thou not know me?”—“Alas, sir,” she tremblingly answered, “I do not remember to have ever seen you before; who are you?”—“I am the person into whose house you came the other day, to request leave to wash yourself, and say your hypocritical prayers. Do you not recollect it?” She instantly fell down on her knees, and implored his pardon, but he cut her into four pieces.
The lady alone remained, who knew nothing at all of what was passing. My brother went to look after her, and discovered her in a chamber. When she saw him enter she was near fainting. She prayed him to spare her life, and he had the generosity to grant it. “How can you, madam,” he asked, “live with such infamous wretches as those on whom I have now so justly revenged myself?”—“I was,” she answered, “the wife of a very worthy merchant, and that wicked old woman, of whose treachery I was ignorant, sometimes came to see me. “Madam,” said she one day to me, “we are going to have a gay and splendid wedding at our house, and you will enjoy a great deal of pleasure there, if you will honor us with your company.” I suffered myself to be prevailed upon to go; and for this purpose I dressed myself in my richest habit, and took a hundred pieces of gold with me. I followed her till she came to this house, where I saw this black, who detained me here by force; and it is now three years that I have been here, though very much against my inclination.”—“From the manner in which this black proceeded, he must have amassed,” replied my brother, “great wealth.”—“So much so,” she answered “that if you could carry it away, you would never be poor again. Follow me, and I will shew it you.” She conducted Alnaschar into a room, where in truth he saw so many coffers filled with gold, that he could not conceal his astonishment. “Go,” she cried, “and bring here a sufficient number of persons to carry all this away.”
My brother did not wait to be told a second time; he went away, and was absent only till he collected ten men together. He brought them back with him, and was much astonished to find the door of the house open; but his astonishment was still greater, when on going into the room where he had seen the coffers, he could not discover a single one. The lady had been both more cunning and more diligent than he had, and she and the coffers had entirely vanished during my brother’s absence. That he might not return with empty hands, he ordered the men to take, instead of the coffers, whatever moveables they could find in the chambers and different apartments, whence he took much more than was sufficient to repay him the value of his five hundred pieces of gold, of which they had robbed him. But in going away from the house, my brother forgot to shut the door; and the neighbours, who knew my brother, and had observed the porters both come and go, went and informed the judge of the whole business, which appeared to them of a very suspicious nature.
Alnaschar passed the night quite at his ease; but early the next morning, as he was going out, he encountered twenty men belonging to the police, who immediately seized him. “You must come with us,” they cried, “our master wants to speak with you.” My brother begged them to have a moment’s patience, and offered them a sum of money if they would permit him to escape; but instead of paying any attention to what he said, they bound him, and compelled him to go with them. In the street they met with an old friend of my brother’s, who stopped them to know the reason of their taking him in this manner. He also proposed to give them a considerable sum to suffer him to escape, and report to the judge that they were unable to find him. But he could not succeed with them, and they carried Alnaschar before the judge of the police.
As soon as he came into his presence, the magistrate said to him, “I desire you to inform me from what place you got all that furniture which you had brought home yesterday.”—“Sir,” replied Alnaschar, “I am ready to tell you the whole truth, but permit me, in the first place, to implore your clemency; and I request of you to give me your word, that nothing shall happen to me.”—“I do so,” said the judge. My brother then related, without disguise, every circumstance that had happened to him, from the time the old woman first came to his house to request leave to say her prayers, till he returned to the chamber in which he had left the young lady, but whom he could not find there, after having killed the black, the Greek slave, and the old woman. With regard to what he had carried home, he entreated the judge to suffer him to keep, at least, a part of it, to recompense him for the five hundred pieces of gold, of which they had robbed him.
The judge immediately sent some of his people to my brother’s house to bring away every thing he had, without promising to give him any part; and as soon as the things were deposited in his warehouse, he ordered my brother instantly to leave the city, and never to return again on forfeiture of his life; because he was fearful, if my brother remained there, he would go and complain of his injustice to the caliph. Alnaschar in the mean time obeyed the order without a murmur; he departed from the city, and fled for refuge to another town. But on his road he encountered some robbers, who took every thing from him, and stripped him as bare as my hand. I was no sooner informed of this new misfortune than I took some clothes with me, and went to find him out: after consoling him as well as it was in my power, I brought him back with me, and made him enter the city quite privately, and I took as much care of him as of my other brothers.