The Two Sailors

John Lea

There once was a sailor who never could bear

To rub any oil on the top of his hair,

And no one who loved him at sea or at home

Would offer the use of a brush and a comb.

He said (and what reason for doubting the tale?)

The very best brush is the breath of a gale,

While as to the comb—seek a better, in vain,

Than jolly good torrents of tropical rain.

So all round the world (and no cruise did he miss)

That singular sailor looked something like this.

There once was a sailor who lavished with care

Whole buckets of oil on the top of his hair,

And no one who loved him omitted to speak

In rapture of tresses so splendidly sleek.

He said (and who questions what mariners say?)

He brushed them and combed them each hour of the day.

For, up on the mast in the wildest of seas,

He never neglected such duties as these.

And so, as no chance he would lazily miss,

That singular sailor looked something like this.