ACT II
SCENE I
The COLONEL'S summer parlor. In the foreground on the right IDA and ADELAIDE, next to ADELAIDE the COLONEL, all sitting. In front of them a table with coffee set.
COLONEL (in conversation with ADELAIDE, laughing).
A splendid story, and cleverly told! I am heartily glad that you are with us, dear Adelaide. Now, at any rate, we shall talk about something else at table besides this everlasting politics! H'm! The professor has not come today. He never used to miss our coffee-hour.
[Pause; ADELAIDE and IDA look at each other. IDA sighs.]
ADELAIDE.
Perhaps he has work to do.
IDA.
Or he is vexed with us because I am going to the fête tonight.
COLONEL (irritably).
Nonsense, you are not his wife nor even openly his fiancée. You are in your father's house and belong in my circle.—H'm! I see he treasures it up against me that I did some plain speaking the other day. I think I was a little impatient.
ADELAIDE (nodding her head).
Yes, a little, I hear.
IDA.
He is worried about the way you feel, dear father.
COLONEL.
Well, I have reason enough to be vexed; don't remind me of it. And that, in addition, he lets himself be mixed up in these elections, is unpardonable.
[Walks up and down.]
But you had better send for him, Ida.
IDA rings. Enter CARL.
IDA.
Our compliments to the professor and we are waiting coffee for him.
[Exit CARL.]
COLONEL.
Well, that about waiting was not quite necessary. Why, we have finished our coffee.
ADELAIDE.
Ida has not finished yet.
IDA.
Hush!
ADELAIDE.
Why did he ever let himself be put up as candidate? He has plenty to do as it is.
COLONEL.
Pure ambition, girls. The devil of ambition possesses these young men.
He impels them as steam does a locomotive.
IDA.
No, father, he never thought of himself in the matter.
COLONEL.
It does not stand out quite so nakedly as, "I must make a career for myself," or "I wish to become a famous man." The procedure is more delicate. The good friends come along and say: "Your duty to the good cause requires you to—it is a crime against your country if you do not—it is a sacrifice for you but we demand it." And so a pretty mantle is thrown around vanity, and the candidate issues forth—from pure patriotism of course! Don't teach an old soldier worldly wisdom. We, dear Adelaide, sit calmly by and laugh at such weaknesses.
ADELAIDE.
And are indulgent toward them when we have so good a heart as you.
COLONEL.
Yes, one profits by experience.
Enter CARL.
CARL.
Mr. von Senden and two other gentlemen.
COLONEL.
What do they want? Pleased to see them!
[Exit CARL.]
Allow me to have them shown in here, children. Senden never stays long. He is a roving spirit.
[The ladies rise.]
IDA.
The hour is again spoiled for us.
ADELAIDE.
Don't mind it; we shall have all the more time to dress.
[Exeunt IDA and ADELAIDE on the left.]
Enter SENDEN, BLUMENBERG, a third gentleman.
SENDEN.
Colonel, we come on behalf of the committee for the approaching election to notify you that that committee has unanimously voted to make you, Colonel, our party's candidate.
COLONEL. Me?
SENDEN.
The committee begs you to accept this nomination so that the necessary announcement can be made to the voters at this evening's fête.
COLONEL.
Are you in earnest, dear Senden? Where did the committee get such an idea?
SENDEN.
Colonel, our president, who had previously agreed to run for our town, found that it would be more advantageous to be candidate from a provincial district; apart from him no one of our townsmen is so well known and so popular with the citizens as yourself. If you accede to our request our party is certain of victory; if you refuse, there is every probability that our opponents will have their own way. You will agree with us that such an eventuality must be avoided under all circumstances.
COLONEL.
I see all that; but, on personal grounds, it is impossible for me to help our friends in this matter.
SENDEN (to the others).
Let me explain to the Colonel certain things which will possibly make him look favorably on our request.
[Exeunt BLUMENBERG and the other gentlemen into the garden, where they are visible from time to time.]
COLONEL.
But, Senden, how could you put me in this embarrassing position! You know that for years Oldendorf has frequented my house and that it will be extremely unpleasant for me openly to oppose him.
SENDEN.
If the professor is really so devoted to you and your household, he has now the best opportunity to show it. It is a foregone conclusion that he will at once withdraw.
COLONEL.
I am not quite so sure of that; he is very stubborn in many ways.
SENDEN.
If he do not withdraw such egotism can scarcely still be called stubbornness. And in such a case you would scarcely be under obligations to him; obligations, Colonel, which might work injury to the whole country. Besides, he has no chance of being elected if you accept, for you will defeat him by a majority not large but sure.
COLONEL.
Are we so perfectly certain of this majority!
SENDEN.
I think I can guarantee it. Blumenberg and the other gentlemen have made very thorough inquiries.
COLONEL.
It would serve the professor quite right if he had to withdraw in my favor.—But no—no; it will not do at all, my friend.
SENDEN.
We know, Colonel, what a sacrifice we are asking of you, and that nothing could compensate you for it save the consciousness of having done your country a great service.
COLONEL.
To be sure.
SENDEN.
It would be so regarded in the capital, too, and I am convinced that your entering the House would also cause pleasure in other circles than those of your numerous friends and admirers.
COLONEL.
I should meet there many old friends and comrades. (Aside.) I should be presented at Court.
SENDEN.
The minister of war asked very warmly after you the other day; he too must have been one of your companions in arms.
COLONEL.
Yes indeed! As young blades we served in the same company and played many mad pranks together. It would be a pleasure to see him now in the House, drawing his honest face into dark lines. He was a wild devil in the regiment, but a fine boy.
SENDEN.
Nor will he be the only one to receive you with open arms.
COLONEL.
In any case, I should have to think the matter over.
SENDEN.
Don't be angry, Colonel, if I urge you to decide. This evening we have to introduce their candidate to our citizen guests. It is high time, or all is lost.
COLONEL (hesitating).
Senden, you put a knife to my throat!
[SENDEN, from the door, motions the gentlemen in the garden to come in.]
BLUMENBERG.
We venture to urge you, knowing that so good a soldier as you,
Colonel, makes up his mind quickly.
COLONEL (after struggling inwardly).
Well, so be it, gentlemen, I accept! Tell the committee I appreciate their confidence. This evening we will talk over details.
BLUMENBERG.
We thank you, Colonel. The whole town will be rejoiced to hear of your decision.
COLONEL.
Good-by until this evening.
[Exeunt the visitors;
COLONEL alone, thoughtfully.]
I fear I ought not to have accepted so quickly; but I had to do the minister of war that favor. What will the girls say to it? And Oldendorf?
[Enter OLDENDORF.]
There he is himself.
[Clears his throat.]
He will be astonished. I can't help it, he must withdraw. Good morning, Professor, you come just at the right moment.
OLDENDORF (hastily).
Colonel, there is a report in town that Mr. von Senden's party have put you up as their candidate. I ask for your own assurance that you would not accept such a nomination.
COLONEL.
And, supposing the proposition had been made to me, why should I not accept as well as you? Yes, rather than you; for the motives that would determine me are sounder than your reasons.
OLDENDORF.
So there is some foundation then to the rumor?
COLONEL.
To be frank, it is the truth. I have accepted. You see in me your opponent.
OLDENDORF.
Nothing so bad has yet occurred to trouble our relations. Colonel, could not the memory of a friendship, hearty and undisturbed for years, induce you to avoid this odious conflict?
COLONEL.
Oldendorf, I could not act otherwise, believe me. It is your place now to remember our old friendship. You are a younger man, let alone other relationships; you are the one now to withdraw.
OLDENDORF (more excitedly).
Colonel, I have known you for years. I know how keenly and how deeply you feel things and how little your ardent disposition fits you to bear the petty vexations of current politics, the wearing struggle of debates. Oh, my worthy friend, do listen to my exhortations and take back your consent.
COLONEL.
Let that be my concern. I am an old block of hard timber. Think of yourself, dear Oldendorf. You are young, you have fame as a scholar; your learning assures you every success. Why, in another sphere of activity, do you seek to exchange honor and recognition for naught but hatred, mockery, and humiliation? For with such views as yours you cannot fail to harvest them. Think it over. Be sensible, and withdraw.
OLDENDORF.
Colonel, could I follow my own inclinations I should do so on the spot. But in this contest I am under obligations to my friends. I cannot withdraw now.
COLONEL (excitedly).
Nor can I withdraw, lest I harm the good cause. We are no further now than in the beginning. (Aside.) Obstinate fellow!
[Both walk up and down on opposite sides of the stage.]
You have not the least chance whatever of being elected, Oldendorf; my friends are sure of having the majority of the votes. You are exposing yourself to a public defeat. (Kindly.) I should dislike having you of all people beaten by me; it will cause gossip and scandal. Just think of it! It is perfectly useless for you to conjure up the conflict.
OLDENDORF.
Even if it were such a foregone conclusion as you assume, Colonel, I should still have to hold out to the end. But as far as I can judge the general sentiment, the result is by no means so certain. And think, Colonel, if you should happen to be defeated—
COLONEL (irritated).
I tell you, that will not be the case.
OLDENDORF.
But if it should be? How odious that would be for both of us! How would you feel toward me then! I might possibly welcome a defeat in my heart; for you it would be a terrible mortification, and, Colonel, I dread this possibility.
COLONEL.
For that very reason you should withdraw.
OLDENDORF.
I can no longer do so; but there is still time for you.
COLONEL (vehemently).
Thunder and lightning, sir, I have said yes; I am not the man to cap it with a no!
[Both walk up and down.]
That appears to end it, Professor! My wishes are of no account to you; I ought to have known that! We must go our separate ways. We have become open opponents; let us be honest enemies—
OLDENDORF (seizing the COLONEL'S hand).
Colonel, I consider this a most unfortunate day; for I see sad results to follow. Rest assured that no circumstances can shake my love and devotion for you.
COLONEL.
We are drawn up in line of battle, as it were. You mean to let yourself be defeated by an old military man. You shall have your desire.
OLDENDORF.
I ask your permission to tell Miss Ida of our conversation.
COLONEL (somewhat uneasy).
You had better not do that just now, Professor. An opportunity will come in due time. At present the ladies are dressing. I myself will say what is necessary.
OLDENDORF.
Farewell, Colonel, and think of me without hard feelings.
COLONEL.
I will try my best, Professor.
[Exit OLDENDORF.]
He has not given in! What depths of ambition there are in these scholars!
Enter IDA, ADELAIDE.
IDA.
Was not that Edward's voice?
COLONEL.
Yes, my child.
ADELAIDE.
And he has gone away again! Has anything happened?
COLONEL.
Well, yes, girls. To make a long story short, Oldendorf does not become member for this town, but I.
ADELAIDE} (together.) You, Colonel? IDA } You, father?
IDA.
Has Edward withdrawn?
ADELAIDE.
Is the election over?
COLONEL.
Neither one nor the other. Oldendorf has proved his much-vaunted devotion to us by not withdrawing, and election day is not yet past. But from what I hear there is no doubt that Oldendorf will be defeated.
IDA.
And you, father, have come out before everybody as his opponent?
ADELAIDE.
And what did Oldendorf say to that, Colonel?
COLONEL.
Don't excite me, girls! Oldendorf was stubborn, otherwise he behaved well, and as far as that is concerned all is in order. The grounds which determined me to make the sacrifice are very weighty. I will explain them to you more fully another time. The matter is decided; I have accepted; let that suffice for the present.
IDA.
But, dear father—
COLONEL.
Leave me in peace, Ida, I have other things to think of. This evening I am to speak in public; that is, so to say, the custom at such elections. Don't worry, my child, we'll get the better of the professor and his clique.
[Exit COLONEL toward the garden. IDA and ADELAIDE stand facing each other and wring their hands.]
IDA.
What do you say to that?
ADELAIDE.
You are his daughter—what do you say?
IDA.
Not possible!—Father! Scarcely had he finished explaining to us thoroughly what petty mantles ambition assumes in such elections—
ADELAIDE.
Yes, he described them right vividly, all the little wraps and cloaks of vanity.
IDA.
And within an hour he lets them throw the cloak about himself. Why, it is terrible! And if father is not elected? It was wrong of Edward not to give in to father's weakness. Is that your love for me, Professor? He, too, never thought of me!
ADELAIDE.
Shall I tell you what? Let us hope that they both fail. These politicians! It was bad enough for you when only one was in politics; now that both have tasted of the intoxicating drink you are done for. Were I ever to come into a position to make a man my master, I should impose upon him but one condition, the wise rule of conduct of my old aunt: Smoke tobacco, my husband, as much as you please; at most it will spoil the walls; but never dare to look at a newspaper—that will spoil your character.
[KORB appears at the door.]
What news do you bring, Korb?
KORB (hastily, mysteriously).
It isn't true!
ADELAIDE (the same). What isn't true?
KORB.
That he has a fiancée. He has no idea of it. His friend says he has but one lady-love.
ADELAIDE (eagerly).
Who is she?
KORB. His newspaper.
ADELAIDE (relieved).
Ah, indeed. (Aloud.)
One can see by that how many falsehoods people tell. It is good, dear
Korb.
[Exit KORB.]
IDA. What isn't true?
ADELAIDE (sighing).
Well, that we women are cleverer than men. We talk just as wisely and
I fear are just as glad to forget our wisdom at the first opportunity.
We are all of us together poor sinners!
IDA.
You can joke about it. You never knew what it was to have your father and the man you loved oppose each other as enemies.
ADELAIDE.
Do you think so! Well, I once had a good friend who had foolishly given her heart to a handsome, high-spirited boy. She was a mere child and it was a very touching relationship: knightly devotion on his part and tender sighings on hers. Then the young heroine had the misfortune to become very jealous, and so far forgot poetry and deportment as to give her heart's chosen knight a box on the ear. It was only a little box, but it had fateful consequences. The young lady's father had seen it and demanded an explanation. Then the young knight acted like a perfect hero. He took all the blame upon himself and told the alarmed father that he had asked the young lady to kiss him—poor fellow, he never had the courage for such a thing!—and the blow had been her answer. A stern man was the father; he treated the lad very harshly. The hero was sent away from his family and his home, and the heroine sat lonely in her donjon-tower and mourned her lost one.
IDA.
She ought to have told her father the truth.
ADELAIDE.
Oh, she did. But her confession made matters only worse. Years have gone by since then, and the knight and his lady are now old people and have become quite sensible.
IDA (smiling).
And, because they are sensible, do they not love each other any longer?
ADELAIDE.
How the man feels about it, dear child, I cannot tell you exactly. He wrote the lady a very beautiful letter after the death of her father—that is all I know about it. But the lady has greater confidence than you, for she still hopes. (Earnestly.) Yes, she hopes; and even her father permitted that before he died—you see, she still hopes.
IDA (embracing her).
And who is the banished one for whom she still hopes?
ADELAIDE.
Hush, dearest, that is a dark secret. Few persons living know about it; and when the birds on the trees of Rosenau tell each other the story they treat it as a dim legend of their forefathers. They then sing softly and sorrowfully, and their feathers stand on end with awe. In due time you shall learn all about it; but now you must think of the fête, and of how pretty you are going to look.
IDA.
On the one hand the father, on the other the lover—how will it end?
ADELAIDE.
Do not worry. The one is an old soldier, the other a young statesman; two types that we women have wound around our little fingers from time immemorial! [Both leave.]
SCENE II
Side room of a public hall. The rear wall a great arch with columns, through which one looks into the lighted hall and through it into another. On the left, toward the front, a door. On the right, tables and chairs; chandeliers. Later, from time to time distant music. In the hall ladies and gentlemen walking about or standing in groups. SENDEN, BLUMENBERG, behind them SCHMOCK coming from the hall.
SENDEN. All is going well. There is a splendid spirit in the company. These good townspeople are delighted with our arrangements. It was a fine idea of yours, Blumenberg, to have this fête.
BLUMENBEEG. Only hurry and get people warmed up! It's a good thing to begin with some music. Vienna waltzes are best on account of the women. Then comes a speech from you, then some solo singing, and, at supper, the introduction of the Colonel, and the toasts. It can't help being a success; the men must have hearts of stone if they don't give their votes in return for such a fête.
SENDEN. The toasts have been apportioned.
BLUMENBERG. But the music?—Why has the music stopped?
SENDEN. I am waiting for the Colonel to arrive.
BLUMENBERG. He must be received with a blare of trumpets. It will flatter him, you know.
SENDEN. That's what I ordered. Directly after, they start up a march and we bring him in procession.
BLUMENBERG. First rate! That will lend solemnity to his entrance. Only think up your speech. Be popular, for today we are among the rabble.
Enter guests, among them HENNING.
SENDEN (doing the honors with BLUMENBERG). Delighted to see you here! We knew that you would not fail us. Is this your wife?
GUEST. Yes, Mr. von Senden, this is my wife.
SENDEN. You here, too, Mr. Henning? Welcome, my dear sir!
HENNING. I was invited by my friend and really had the curiosity to come. My presence, I hope, will not be unpleasant to any one?
SENDEN. Quite the contrary. We are most pleased to greet you here.
[Guests leave through centre door; SENDEN goes out in conversation with them.]
BLUMENBERG. He knows how to manage people. It's the good manners of these gentlemen that does it. He is useful—useful to me too. He manages the others, and I manage him. [Turning, he sees SCHMOCK, who is hovering near the door.] What are you doing here? Why do you stand there listening? You are not a door-keeper! See that you keep out of my vicinity. Divide yourself up among the company.
SCHMOCK. Whom shall I go to if I know none of these people at all? You are the only person I know.
BLUMENBERG. Why must you tell people that you know me? I consider it no honor to stand next to you.
SCHMOCK. If it is not an honor it's not a disgrace either; But I can stay by myself.
BLUMENBERG. Have you money to get something to eat? Go to the restaurant-keeper and order something charged to me. The committee will pay for it.
SCHMOCK. I don't care to go and eat. I have no need to spend anything.
I have had my supper.
[Blare of trumpets and march in the distance. Exit BLUMENBERG. SCHMOCK alone, coming forward, angrily.]
I hate him! I'll tell him I hate him, that I despise him from the bottom of my heart!
[Turns to go, comes back.]
But I cannot tell him so, or he will cut out all I send in for the special correspondence I write for his paper! I will try to swallow it down!
[Exit through centre door.]
Enter BOLZ, KÄMPE, BELLMAUS by side door.
BOLZ (marching in). Behold us in the house of the Capulets! [Pretends to thrust a sword into its scabbard.] Conceal your swords under roses. Blow your little cheeks up, and look as silly and innocent as possible. Above all, don't let me see you get into a row, and if you meet this Tybaldus Senden be so good as to run round the corner.
[The procession is seen marching through the rear halls.]
You, Romeo Bellmaus, look out for the little women. I see more fluttering curls and waving kerchiefs there than are good for your peace of mind.
KÄMPE. I bet a bottle of champagne that if one of us gets into a row it will be you.
BOLZ. Possibly. But I promise you that you shall surely come in for your share of it. Now listen to my plan of operations. You Kämpe—[Enter SCHMOCK.] Stop! Who is that? Thunder! The factotum of the Coriolanus! Our incognito has not lasted long.
SCHMOCK (even before the last remark, has been seen looking in at the door, coming forward). I wish you good evening, Mr. Bolz.
BOLZ. I wish you the same and of even better quality, Mr. Schmock.
SCHMOCK. Might I have a couple of words with you?
BOLZ. A couple? Don't ask for too few, noble armor-bearer of the Coriolanus! A couple of dozen words you shall have, but no more.
SCHMOCK. Could you not employ me on your paper.
BOLZ (to KÄMPE and BELLMAUS). Do you hear that? On our paper? H'm!
'Tis much you ask, noble Roman!
SCHMOCK. I am sick of the Coriolanus. I would do any kind of work you needed done. I want to be with respectable people, where one can earn something and be treated decently.
BOLZ. What are you asking of us, slave of Rome? We to entice you away from your party—never! We do violence to your political convictions? Make you a renegade? We bear the guilt of your joining our party? No, sir! We have a tender conscience. It rises in arms against your proposition!
SCHMOCK. Why do you let that trouble you? Under Blumenberg I have learned to write whichever way the wind blows. I have written on the left and again on the right. I can write in any direction.
BOLZ. I see you have character. You would be a sure success on our paper. Your offer does us honor, but we cannot accept it now. So momentous an affair as your defection needs deep consideration. Meanwhile you will have confided in no unfeeling barbarian. (Aside to the others.) We may be able to worm something out of him. Bellmaus, you have the tenderest heart of us three; you must devote yourself to him today.
BELLMAUS. But what shall I do with him?
BOLZ. Take him into the restaurant, sit down in a corner with him, pour punch into every hollow of his poor head until his secrets jump out like wet mice. Make him chatter, especially about the elections. Go, little man, and take good care not to get overheated yourself and babble.
BELLMAUS. In that case I shall not see much of the fête.
BOLZ. That's true, my son! But what does the fête mean to you? Heat, dust, and stale dance-music. Besides, we will tell you all about it in the morning; and then you are a poet, and can imagine the whole affair to be much finer than it really was. So don't take it to heart. You may think you have a thankless role, but it is the most important of all, for it requires coolness and cleverness. Go, mousey, and look out about getting overheated.
BELLMAUS. I'll look out, old tom-cat.—Come along Schmock!
[BELLMAUS and SCHMOCK leave.]
BOLZ. We might as well separate, too.
KÄMPE. I'll go and see how people feel. If I need you I'll look you up.
BOLZ. I had better not show myself much. I'll stay around here.
[Exit KÄMPE.]
Alone at last!
[Goes to centre door.]
There stands the Colonel, closely surrounded. It is she! She is here, and I have to lie in hiding like a fox under the leaves.—But she has falcon eyes,—perhaps—the throng disperses—she is walking through the hall arm-in-arm with Ida—(Excitedly.) They are drawing nearer! (Irritably.) Oh, bother! There is Korb rushing toward me! And just now!
Enter KORB.
KORB. Mr. Conrad! I can't believe my eyes! You here, at this fête!
BOLZ (hastily). Hush, old chap! I'm not here without a reason. I can trust you—you're one of us, you know.
KORB. Body and soul. Through all the talking and fiddling I've kept saying to myself, "Long live the Union!" Here she is!
[Shows him a paper in his pocket.]
BOLZ. Good, Korb, you can do me a great favor. In a corner of the refreshment room Bellmaus is sitting with a stranger. He is to pump the stranger, but cannot stand much himself and is likely to say things he shouldn't. You'll do the party a great service if you will hurry in and drink punch so as to keep Bellmaus up to the mark. You have a strong head—I know it from of old.
KORB (hastily). I go! You are as full of tricks as ever, I see. You may rely on me. The stranger shall succumb, and the Union shall triumph.
[Exit quickly. The music ceases.]
BOLZ. Poor Schmock! [At the door.]
Ah, they are still walking through the hall. Ida is being spoken to, she stops, Adelaide goes on—(Excitedly.) she's coming, she's coming alone!
ADELAIDE (makes a motion as though to pass the door, but suddenly enters. BOLZ bows). Conrad! My dear doctor!
[Holds out her hand. BOLZ bends low over it.]
ADELAIDE (in joyous emotion). I knew you at once from a distance. Let me see your faithful face. Yes, it has changed but little—a scar, browner, and a small line about the mouth. I hope it is from laughing.
BOLZ. If at this moment I feel like anything but laughing it is only a passing malignity of soul. I see myself double, like a melancholy Highlander. In your presence my long happy childhood passes bodily before my eyes. All the joy and pain it brought me I feel as vividly again as though I were still the boy who went into the wood for you in search of wild adventures and caught robin-red-breasts. And yet the fine creature I see before me is so different from my playmate that I realize I am only dreaming a beautiful dream. Your eyes shine as kindly as ever, but—(Bowing.) I have scarcely the right still to think of old dreams.
ADELAIDE. Possibly I, too, am not so changed as you think; and changed though we both be, we have remained good friends, have we not?
BOLZ. Rather than give up one iota of my claim to your regard, I would write and print and try to sell malicious articles against myself.
ADELAIDE. And yet you have been too proud all this time even to come and see your friend in town. Why have you broken with the Colonel?
BOLZ. I have not broken with him. On the contrary, I have a very estimable position in his house—one that I can best keep by going there as seldom as possible. The Colonel, and occasionally Miss Ida, too, like to assuage their anger against Oldendorf and the newspaper by regarding me as the evil one with horns and hoofs. A relationship so tender must be handled with care—a devil must not cheapen himself by appearing every day.
ADELAIDE. Well, I hope you will now abandon this lofty viewpoint. I am spending the winter in town, and I hope that for love of your boyhood's friend you will call on my friends as a denizen of this world.
BOLZ. In any role you apportion me.
ADELAIDE. Even in that of a peace-envoy between the Colonel and
Oldendorf?
BOLZ. If peace be at the cost of Oldendorf's withdrawal, then no.
Otherwise I am ready to serve you in all good works.
ADELAIDE. But I fear that this is the only price at which peace can be purchased. You see, Mr. Conrad, we too have become opponents.
BOLZ. To do anything against your wishes is horrible to me, son of perdition though I be. So my saint wills and commands that Oldendorf do not become member of Parliament?
ADELAIDE. I will it and command it, Mr. Devil!
BOLZ. It is hard. Up in your heaven you have so many gentlemen to bestow on Miss Ida; why must you carry off a poor devil's one and only soul, the professor?
ADELAIDE. It is just the professor I want, and you must let me have him.
BOLZ. I am in despair. I would tear my hair were the place not so unsuitable. I dread your anger. The thought makes me tremble that you might not like this election.
ADELAIDE. Well, try to stop the election, then.
BOLZ. That I cannot do. But so soon as it is over I am fated to mourn and grow melancholy over your anger. I shall withdraw from the world—far, far to the North Pole. There I shall end my days sadly, playing dominoes with polar bears, or spreading the elements of journalistic training among the seals. That will be easier to endure than the scathing glance of your eyes.
ADELAIDE (laughing). Yes, that's the way you always were. You made every possible promise and acted exactly as you pleased. But before starting for the North Pole, perhaps you will make one more effort to reconcile me here.
[KÄMPE is seen at the door.]
Hush!—I shall look forward to your visit. Farewell, my re-found friend!
[EXIT.]
BOLZ. And thus my good angel turns her back to me in anger! And now, politics, thou witch, I am irretrievably in thy power!
[Exit quickly through centre door.]
Enter PIEPENBRINK, MRS. PIEPENBRINK, BERTHA escorted by FRITZ KLEINMICHEL, and KLEINMICHEL through centre door. Quadrille behind the scenes.
PIEPENBRINK. Thank Heaven, we are out of this crowd!
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. It is very hot.
KLEINMICHEL. And the music is too loud. There are too many trumpets and I hate trumpets.
PIEPENBRINK. Here's a quiet spot; we'll sit down here.
FRITZ. Bertha would prefer staying in the ball-room. Might I not go back with her?
PIEPENBRINK. I have no objection to you young people going back into the ball-room, but I prefer your staying here with us. I like to keep my whole party together.
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. Stay with your parents, my child!
PIEPENBRINK. Sit down! (To his wife.) You sit at the corner, Fritz comes next to me. You take Bertha between you, neighbors. Her place will soon be at your table, anyway.
[They seat themselves at the table on the right—at the left corner MRS. PIEPENBRINK, then he himself, FRITZ, BERTHA, KLEINMICHEL.]
FRITZ. When will "soon" be, godfather? You have been saying that this long time, but you put off the wedding day further and further.
PIEPENBRINK. That is no concern of yours.
FRITZ. I should think it is, godfather! Am I not the man that wants to marry Bertha?
PIEPENBRINK. That's a fine argument! Any one can want that. But it's I who am to give her to you, which is more to the point, young man; for it is going to be hard enough for me to let the little wag-tail leave my nest. So you wait. You shall have her, but wait!
KLEINMICHEL. He will wait, neighbor.
PIEPENBRINK. Well, I should strongly advise him to do so. Hey! Waiter, waiter!
[Illustration: Permission F. Bruckman, A.-G. Munich ON THE TERRACE
ADOLF VON MENZEL]
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. What poor service one gets in such places!
PIEPENBRINK. Waiter!
[Waiter comes.]
My name is Piepenbrink. I brought along six bottles of my own wine.
The restaurant-keeper has them. I should like them here.
[While the waiter is bringing the bottles and glasses BOLZ and KÄMPE appear. Waiter from time to time in the background.]
BOLZ (aside to KÄMPE). Which one is it?
KÄMPE. The one with his back to us, the broad-shouldered one.
BOLZ. And what kind of a business does he carry on?
KÄMPE. Chiefly red wines.
BOLZ. Good! (Aloud.) Waiter, a table and two chairs here! A bottle of red wine!
[Waiter brings what has been ordered to the front, on the left.]
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. What are those people doing here?
PIEPENBRINK. That is the trouble with such promiscuous assemblies, that one never can be alone.
KLEINMICHEL. They seem respectable gentlemen; I think I have seen one of them before.
PIEPENBRINK (decisively). Respectable or not, they are in our way.
KLEINMICHEL. Yes, to be sure, so they are.
BOLZ (seating himself with KÄMPE). Here, my friend, we can sit quietly before a bottle of red wine. I hardly dare to pour it out, for the wine at such restaurants is nearly always abominable. What sort of stuff do you suppose this will be?
PIEPENBRINK (irritated). Indeed? Just listen to that!
KÄMPE. Let's try it.
[Pours out; in a low voice.]
There is a double P. on the seal; that might mean Piepenbrink.
PIEPENBRINK. Well, I am curious to know what these greenhorns will have to say against the wine.
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. Be quiet, Philip, they can hear you over there.
BOLZ (in a low tone). I'm sure you are right. The restaurant takes its wine from him. That's his very reason for coming.
PIEPENBRINK. They don't seem to be thirsty; they are not drinking.
BOLZ (tastes it; aloud). Not bad!
PIEPENBRINK (ironically). Indeed?
BOLZ (takes another sip). A good, pure wine.
PIEPENBRINK (relieved). The fellow's judgment is not so bad.
BOLZ. But it does not compare with a similar wine that I recently drank at a friend's house.
PIEPENBRINK. Indeed?
BOLZ. I learned then that there is only one man in town from whom a sensible wine-drinker should take his red wine.
KÄMPE. And that is?
PIEPENBRINK (ironically). I really should like to know.
BOLZ. It's a certain Piepenbrink.
PIEPENBRINK (nodding his head contentedly). Good!
KÄMPE. Yes, it is well known to be a very reliable firm.
PIEPENBRINK. They don't know that their own wine, too, is from my cellars. Ha! Ha! Ha!
BOLZ (turning to him). Are you laughing at us, Sir?
PIEPENBRINK. Ha! Ha! Ha! No offense. I merely heard you talking about the wine. So you like Piepenbrink's wine better than this here? Ha! Ha! Ha!
BOLZ (slightly indignant). Sir, I must request you to find my expressions less comical. I do not know Mr. Piepenbrink, but I have the pleasure of knowing his wine; and so I repeat the assertion that Piepenbrink has better wine in his cellar than this here. What do you find to laugh at in that? You do not know Piepenbrink's wines and have no right to judge of them.
PIEPENBRINK. I do not know Piepenbrink's wines, I do not know Philip
Piepenbrink either, I never saw his wife—do you hear that,
Lottie?—And when his daughter Bertha meets me I ask, "Who is that
little black-head?" That is a funny story. Isn't it, Kleinmichel?
KLEINMICHEL. It is very funny! [Laughs.]
BOLZ (rising with dignity). Sir, I am a stranger to you and have never insulted you. You look honorable and I find you in the society of charming ladies. For that reason I cannot imagine that you came here to mock at strangers. As man to man, therefore, I request you to explain why you find my harmless words so astonishing. If you don't like Mr. Piepenbrink why do you visit it on us?
PIEPENBRINK (rising). Don't get too excited, Sir. Now, see here! The wine you are now drinking is also from Piepenbrink's cellar, and I myself am the Philip Piepenbrink for whose sake you are pitching into me. Now, do you see why I laugh?
BOLZ. Ah, is that the way things stand? You yourself are Mr. Piepenbrink? Then I am really glad to make your acquaintance. No offense, honored Sir!
PIEPENBRINK. No, no offense. Everything is all right.
BOLZ. Since you were so kind as to tell us your name, the next thing in order is for you to learn ours. I'm Bolz, Doctor of Philosophy, and my friend here is Mr. Kämpe.
PIEPENBRINK. Pleased to meet you.
BOLZ. We are comparative strangers in this company and had withdrawn to this side room as one feels slightly embarrassed among so many new faces. But we should be very sorry if by our presence we in any way disturbed the enjoyment of the ladies and the conversation of so estimable a company. Tell us frankly if we are in the way, and we will find another place.
PIEPENBRINK. You seem to me a jolly fellow and are not in the least in my way, Doctor Bolz—that was the name, was it not?
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. We, too, are strangers here and had only just sat down. Piepenbrink!
[Nudges him slightly.]
PIEPENBRINK. I tell you what, Doctor, as you are already acquainted with the yellow-seal from my cellar and have passed a very sensible verdict upon it, how would it be for you to give it another trial here? Sit down with us if you have nothing better to do, and we will have a good talk together.
BOLZ (with dignity, as throughout this whole scene, during which both he and KÄMPE must not seem to be in any way pushing). That is a very kind invitation, and we accept it with pleasure. Be good enough, dear Sir, to present us to your company.
PIEPENBRINK. This here is my wife.
BOLZ. Do not be vexed at our breaking in upon you, Madam. We promise to behave ourselves and to be as good company as lies in the power of two shy bachelors.
PIEPENBRINK. Here is my daughter.
BOLZ (to MRS. PIEPENBRINK). One could have known that from the likeness.
PIEPENBRINK. This is my friend, Mr. Kleinmichel, and this, Fritz
Kleinmichel, my daughter's fiancé.
BOLZ. I congratulate you, gentlemen, on such delightful society. (To PIEPENBRINK.) Permit me to sit next to the lady of the house. Kämpe, I thought you would sit next to Mr. Kleinmichel.
[They sit down.]
Now we alternate! Waiter!
[Waiter comes to him.]
Two bottles of this!
PIEPENBRINK. Hold on! You won't find that wine here. I brought my own kind. You're to drink with me.
BOLZ. But Mr. Piepenbrink——
PIEPENBRINK. No remonstrances! You drink with me. And when I ask any one to drink with me, Sir, I don't mean to sip, as women do, but to drink out and fill up. You must make up your mind to that.
BOLZ. Well, I am content. We as gratefully accept your hospitality as it is heartily offered. But you must then let me have my revenge. Next Sunday you are all to be my guests, will you? Say yes, my kind host! Punctually at seven, informal supper. I am single, so it will be in a quiet, respectable hotel. Give your consent, my dear Madam. Shake hands on it, Mr. Piepenbrink.—You, too, Mr. Kleinmichel and Mr. Fritz!
[Holds out his hand to each of them.]
PIEPENBRINK. If my wife is satisfied it will suit me all right.
BOLZ. Done! Agreed! And now the first toast. To the good spirit who brought us together today, long may he live!—[Questioning those about him.] What's the spirit's name?
FRITZ KLEINMICHEL. Chance.
BOLZ. No, he has a yellow cap.
PIEPENBRINK. Yellow-seal is his name.
BOLZ. Correct! Here's his health! We hope the gentleman may last a long time, as the cat said to the bird when she bit its head off.
KLEINMICHEL. We wish him long life just as we are putting an end to him.
BOLZ. Well said! Long life!
PIEPENBRINK. Long life!
[They touch glasses. PIEPENBRINK to his wife.]
It is going to turn out well today, after all.
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. They are very modest nice men.
BOLZ. You can't imagine how glad I am that our good fortune brought us into such pleasant company. For although in there everything is very prettily arranged—
PIEPENBRINK. It really is all very creditable.
BOLZ. Very creditable! But yet this political society is not to my taste.
PIEPENBRINK. Ah, indeed! You don't belong to the party, I suppose, and on that account do not like it.
BOLZ. It's not that! But when I reflect that all these people have been invited, not really to heartily enjoy themselves, but in order that they shall presently give their votes to this or that gentleman, it cools my ardor.
PIEPENBRINK. Oh, it can hardly be meant just that way. Something could be said on the other side—don't you think so, comrade?
KLEINMICHEL. I trust no one will be asked to sign any agreement here.
BOLZ. Perhaps not. I have no vote to cast and I am proud to be in a company where nothing else is thought of but enjoying oneself with one's neighbor and paying attention to the queens of society—to charming women! Touch glasses, gentlemen, to the health of the ladies, of the two who adorn our circle. [All touch glasses.]
PIEPENBRINK. Come here, Lottie, your health is being drunk.
BOLZ. Young lady, allow a stranger to drink to your future prosperity.
PIEPENBRINK. What else do you suppose they are going to do in there?
FRITZ KLEINMICHEL. I hear that at supper there are to be speeches, and the candidate for election, Colonel Berg, is to be introduced.
PIEPENBRINK. A very estimable gentleman.
KLEINMICHEL. Yes, it is a good choice the gentlemen on the committee have made.
ADELAIDE, who has been visible in the rear, now saunters in.
ADELAIDE. He sitting here? What sort of a company is that?
KÄMPE. People say that Professor Oldendorf has a good chance of election. Many are said to be going to vote for him.
PIEPENBRINK. I have nothing to say against him, only to my mind he is too young.
SENDEN is seen in the rear, later BLUMENBERG and guests.
SENDEN. You here, Miss Runeck?
ADELAIDE. I'm amusing myself with watching those queer people. They act as though the rest of the company were non-existent.
SENDEN. What do I see? There sits the Union itself and next to one of the most important personages of the fête!
[The music ceases.]
BOLZ (who has meanwhile been conversing with MRS. PIEPENBRINK but has listened attentively—to MR. PIEPENBRINK). There, you see the gentlemen cannot desist from talking politics after all. (To PIEPENBRINK.) Did you not mention Professor Oldendorf?
PIEPENBRINK. Yes, my jolly Doctor, just casually.
BOLZ. When you talk of him I heartily pray you to say good things about him; for he is the best, the noblest man I know.
PIEPENBRINK. Indeed? You know him?
KLEINMICHEL. Are you possibly a friend of his!
BOLZ. More than that. Were the professor to say to me today: "Bolz, it will help me to have you jump into the water," I should have to jump in, unpleasant as it would be to me just at this moment to drown in water.
PIEPENBRINK. Oho! That is strong!
BOLZ. In this company I have no right to speak of candidates for election. But if I did have a member to elect he should be the one—he, first of all.
PIEPENBRINK. But you are very much prejudiced in the man's favor.
BOLZ. His political views do not concern me here at all. But what do I demand of a member? That he be a man; that he have a warm heart and a sure judgment, and that he know unwaveringly and unquestionably what is good and right; furthermore, that he have the strength to do what he knows to be right without delay, without hesitation.
PIEPENBRINK. Bravo!
KLEINMICHEL. But the Colonel, too, is said to be that kind of a man.
BOLZ. Possibly he is, I do not know; but of Oldendorf I know it. I looked straight into his heart on the occasion of an unpleasant experience I went through. I was once on the point of burning to powder when he was kind enough to prevent it. Him I have to thank for sitting here. He saved my life.
SENDEN. He lies abominably!
[Starts forward.]
ADELAIDE (holding him back). Be still! I believe there is some truth to the story.
PIEPENBRINK. Well now, it was very fine of him to save your life; but that kind of thing often happens.
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. Do tell us about it, Doctor!
BOLZ. The little affair is like a hundred others and would not interest me at all, had I not been through it myself. Picture to yourself an old house. I am a student living on the third floor. In the house opposite me lives a young scholar; we do not know each other. At dead of night I am awakened by a great noise and a strange crackling under me. If it were mice, they must have been having a torchlight procession for the room was brilliantly illuminated. I rush to the window, the bright flame from the story under me leaps up to where I stand. My window-panes burst about my head, and a vile cloud of smoke rushes in on me. There being no great pleasure under the circumstances in leaning out of the window, I rush to the door and throw it open. The stairs, too, cannot resist the mean impulse peculiar to old wood, they are all ablaze. Up three flights of stairs and no exit! I gave myself up for lost. Half unconscious I hurried back to the window. I heard the cries from the street, "A man! a man! This way with the ladder!" A ladder was set up. In an instant it began to smoke and to burn like tinder. It was dragged away. Then streams of water from all the engines hissed in the flames beneath me. Distinctly I could hear each separate stream striking the glowing wall. A fresh ladder was put up; below there was deathly silence and you can imagine that I, too, had no desire to make much of a commotion in my fiery furnace. "It can't be done," cried the people below. Then a full, rich voice rang out: "Raise the ladder higher!" Do you know, I felt instantly that this was the voice of my rescuer. "Hurry!" cried those below. Then a fresh cloud of vapor penetrated the room. I had had my share of the thick smoke, and lay prostrate on the ground by the window.
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. Poor Doctor Bolz!
PIEPENBRINK (eagerly). Go on!
[SENDEN starts forward.]
ADELAIDE (holding him back). Please, let him finish, the story is true!
BOLZ. Then a man's hand seizes my neck. A rope is wound round me under the arms, and a strong wrist raises me from the ground. A moment later I was on the ladder, half dragged, half carried; with shirt aflame, and unconscious, I reached the pavement.—I awoke in the room of the young scholar. Save for a few slight burns, I had brought nothing with me over into the new apartment; all my belongings were burned. The stranger nursed me and cared for me like a brother. Not until I was able to go out again did I learn that this scholar was the same man who had paid his visit to me that night on the ladder. You see the man has his heart in the right spot, and that's why I wish him now to become member of Parliament, and why I could do for him what I would not do for myself; for him I could electioneer, intrigue, or make fools of honest people. That man is Professor Oldendorf.
PIEPENBRINK. Well, he's a tremendously fine man! [Rising.] Here's to the health of Professor Oldendorf! [All rise and touch glasses.]
BOLZ (bowing pleasantly to all—to MRS. PIEPENBRINK). I see warm sympathy shining in your eyes, dear madam, and I thank you for it. Mr. Piepenbrink, I ask permission to shake your hand; you are a fine fellow. [Slaps him on the back and embraces him.] Give me your hand, Mr. Kleinmichel! [Embraces him.] And you, too, Mr. Fritz Kleinmichel! May no child of yours ever sit in the fire, but if he does may there ever be a gallant man at hand to pull him out. Come nearer, I must embrace you, too.
MRS. PIEPENBRINK (much moved). Piepenbrink, we have veal-cutlets tomorrow. What do you think? [Converses with him in a low tone.]
ADELAIDE. His spirits are running away with him!
SENDEN. He is unbearable! I see that you are as indignant as I am. He snatches away our people; it can no longer be endured.
BOLZ (who had gone the rounds of table, returning and standing in front of MRS. PIEPENBRINK). It really isn't right to let it stop here. Mr. Piepenbrink, head of the house, I appeal to you, I ask your permission—hand or mouth?
ADELAIDE (horrified, on the right toward the front). He is actually kissing her!
PIEPENBRINK. Sail in, old man, courage!
MRS. PIEPENBRINK. Piepenbrink, I no longer know you!
ADELAIDE (at the moment when BOLZ is about to kiss MRS. PIEPENBRINK crosses the stage, passing them casually, as it were, and holds her bouquet between BOLZ and MRS. PIEPENBRINK. In a low tone, quickly to BOLZ). You're going too far! You are being watched!
[Passes to the rear on the left, and exit.]
BOLZ. A fairy interferes!
SENDEN (who has already been haranguing some of the other guests, including BLUMENBERG, noisily pushes forward at this moment—to those at the table). He is presumptuous; he has thrust himself in!
PIEPENBRINK (bringing down his hand on the table and rising). Oho! I like that! If I kiss my wife or let her be kissed, that is nobody's concern whatever! Nobody's! No man and no woman and no fairy has a right to put a hand before her mouth.
BOLZ. Very true! Splendid! Hear! Hear!
SENDEN. Revered Mr. Piepenbrink, no offense against you! The company is charmed to see you here. Only to Mr. Bolz we will remark that his presence is causing scandal. So completely opposed are his political principles that we must regard his appearing at this fête as an unwarrantable intrusion!
BOLZ. My political principles opposed? In society I know no other political principle than this—to drink with nice people and not to drink with those whom I do not consider nice. With you, Sir, I have not drunk.
PIEPENBRINK (striking the table). That was a good one!
SENDEN (hotly). You thrust yourself in here!
BOLZ (indignantly). Thrust myself in?
PIEPENBRINK. Thrust himself in? Old man, you have an entrance ticket,
I suppose?
BOLZ (frankly). Here is my ticket! It is not you I am showing it to, but this honorable man from whom you are trying to estrange me by your attack. Kämpe, give your ticket to Mr. Piepenbrink. He is the man to judge of all the tickets in the world!
PIEPENBRINK. Here are two tickets just exactly as valid as my own. Why, you scattered them right and left like sour grape juice. Oho! I see quite well how things stand! I'm not one of your crowd, either, but you want to get me. That's why you came to my house again and again—because you expected to capture me. Because I am a voter, that's why you're after me. But because this honorable man is not a voter he does not count for you at all. We know those smooth tricks!
SENDEN. But, Mr. Piepenbrink!
PIEPENBRINK (interrupting him, more angrily). Is that any reason for insulting a peaceful guest? Is it a reason for closing my wife's mouth? It is an injustice to this man, and he shall stay here as long as I do. And he shall stay here by my side. And whoever attempts to attack him will have to deal with me!
BOLZ. Your fist, good sir! You're a faithful comrade! And so hand-in-hand with you Philip, I defy the Capulet and his entire clan!
PIEPENBRINK. Philip! Right you are, Conrad, my boy! Come here! They shall swell with anger till they burst! Here's to Philip and Conrad! [They drink brotherhood.]
BOLZ. Long live Piepenbrink!
PIEPENBRINK. So, old chum! Shall I tell you what! Since we are having so good a time I think we'll leave all these people to their own devices, and all of you come home with me. I'll brew a punch and we'll sit together as merrily as jackdaws. I'll escort you, Conrad, and the rest of you go ahead.
SENDEN (and guests). But do listen, revered Mr. Piepenbrink!
PIEPENBRINK. I'll listen to nothing. I'm done with you!
Enter BELLMAUS and other guests.
BELLMAUS (hurrying through the crowd). Here I am!
BOLZ. My nephew! Gracious Madam, I put him under your protection! Nephew, you escort Madam Piepenbrink. (MRS. PIEPENBRINK takes a firm grip on BELLMAUS'S arm and holds him securely. Polka behind the scene.) Farewell, gentlemen, it's beyond your power to spoil our good humor. There, the music is striking up! We march off in a jolly procession, and again I cry in conclusion, Long live Piepenbrink!
THE DEPARTING ONES. Long live Piepenbrink! [They march off in
triumph. FRITZ KLEINMICHEL and his fiancée, KÄMPE with
KLEINMICHEL, MRS. PIEPENBRINK with BELLMAUS, finally BOLZ with
PIEPENBRINK.]
Enter COLONEL.
COLONEL. What's going on here?
SENDEN. An outrageous scandal! The Union has kidnapped our two most important voters!