CHAP. III.
Tom after his old Mother’s death went a wooing; and how he served a young Gallant who affronted him before his Mistress.
Tom’s mother being dead, and he left alone in a large and spacious house, he found himself strange and uncouth, therefore he began to consider with himself that it would not be amiss to seek out for a wife; and hearing of a young rich widow, not far from Cambridge, to her he went, and made his addresses: and at the first coming she seem’d to shew him much favour and countenance; but between this and his coming again, she had given some entertainment to a more genteel and airy spark, who happened likewise to come while honest Tom was there the second time; he look’d wishfully at Tom, and he star’d as wishfully at him again; at last the young spark began with abuseful language to affront Tom, telling him he was such a great lubberly whelp, adding that such a one as he should not pretend to make love to a Lady, as he was but a Brewer’s servant. Scoundrel quoth Tom better words should become you, and if you do not mend your manners, you shall not fail to feel my sharp correction. At which the young Spark challenged him forth into the back yard; for, as he said, he did not question but to make a fool of Tom in a trice. Into the yard they both walk together, the young spark with a naked sword, and Tom with neither stick nor staff in his hand, nor any other weapon. What says the spark, have you nothing to defend yourself? well I shall the sooner dispatch you. Which said, he ran furiously forward, making a pass at Tom, which he put by, and then wheeling round to his backside, Tom gave him such a swinging kick on the breech, which sent the spark like a Crow up into the Air, from whence he fell upon the ridge of a thatcht house, and then came down into a large fish pond, and had been certainly drown’d if it had not been for a poor shepherd who was walking that way, and seeing him float upon the water, dragged him out with his hook, and home he returned like a drowned Rat; while Tom enjoy’d the kind embraces of his fair Mistress.
