SO SLOW, A HEARSE RAN OVER HIM!
By treachery of those in charge of our navy-yards, arsenals, and treasury, the South began the bloody strife better provided than the simple North. But adverse fate seemed bent on keeping the disparity for long in favor of the weaker contestant. By one of those wicked dispensations tripping up our early march, the secretary of the navy was selected in Gideon Welles, an estimable gentleman in person, but wofully unsuited to the berth, if from age alone. Patriarchal in appearance, with a long face and longer beard, white and sere, it became proverbial without appearing much of a far-fetched joke that he was the naval constructor to Noah of Ark-aic fame. Unfortunately his "set" were antiques as well. Yet Lincoln clung to him--or he clung to the President like the Old Man of the Sea--under which aspect he was presented by the caricaturists. One day, however, said the gossips of the White House, Mr. Lincoln dropped the newspaper in reading, and exclaimed:
"Listen!" said he to his secretary, "a man has been run over by a hearse! As I saw Welles not so long ago, it must be one of Gideon's Band!"
A song entitled "Gideon's Band," introduced by the negro minstrels in New York, was popular on the streets and in the camps.