EPITAPH ON Mr. SCRIP.
Here lies Timothy Scrip, late of ’Change Alley, Cornhill, Stockbroker. During the course of a long life he was diligent, industrious, and indefatigable in the exercise of his profession. He died in the seventieth year of his age, and died well, having left behind him a fortune of sixty thousand pounds sterling. It is however much to be regretted, that, stocks being shut at the time of his death, he was not able to make a transfer, or carry any part of it to his account in the other world. It was remarked of him, that he was always more solicitous to get the turn of the day to himself, than to do a good turn to his neighbour; and that though he frequently made bargains for time, he did not choose to risk any thing for eternity. He never gave money to the poor, though offered a very high premium, thinking it safer to make ten per cent. in the English funds, than ten thousand in those of a foreign country. For these reasons, though he was always esteemed a good man at Jonathan’s, it is much to be dreaded, that, at the general settling day, he will find himself on the wrong side, and be forced to waddle, a lame duck, out of Elysium.