CARDINAL MORTON'S FORK (1504).
Source.—Holinshed, p. 532.
The clergy was of two sorts, the one shewing themselves as they were wealthy, seemly and comely; the other pretending that which was not, poverty, bareness and scarcity, but both were of one mind, and devised all the ways they could to save their purses. The first being called alledged that they were daily at great charges and expenses in keeping of hospitalities, in maintaining themselves, their house and families, besides extraordinaries which daily did grow and increase upon them, and by that means they were but bare and poor, and prayed that they be borne with all and pardoned for that time. The other sort alledged that their livings were but small and slender and scarce able to maintain themselves with all which compelled them to go bare and to live a hard and poor life, and therefore (they having nothing) prayed that they might be excused. The bishop when he heard them at full and well considered thereof, very wittily and with a pretty dilemma answered them both, saying to the first: "It is true you are at great charges, are well beseen in your apparell, well mounted upon your fair palfreys and have your men waiting upon you in good order; your hospitality is good and your daily expenses are large, and you are for the same well reported amongst your neighbours; all which are plain demonstrations of your wealth and ability, otherwise you would not be at such voluntary charges. Now having store to spend in such order, there is no reason but that to your prince you should much more be well willing and ready to yield yourselves contributory and dutiful, and therefore you must pay." To the other sort he said: "Albeit your livings be not of the best, yet good, sufficient, and able to maintain you in better estate than you do employ it, but it appeareth that you are frugual and thrifty men, and what others do voluntarily spend in apparell, house and family, you warily do keep and have it lie by you; and therefore it is good reason that of your store you should spare with a good will and contribute to your prince, wherefore be contented, for you shall pay." And so by this pretty dilemma he reduced them to yield a good payment to the King.