Act II
Scene.—A small room in the inn. Osip lying on his master's bed.
Osip: Devil take it! I am famishing. It is two months since we left St. Petersburg. This master of mine has squandered all his money on the way, and here we are penniless. The old man sends his son money, but he goes on the racket with it till all is spent, and then he has to pawn his clothes almost to the last rag. And now this landlord declares he will let us have nothing more to eat unless we pay in advance. Ah, there's the knock.
[He gets off the bed. Khelstakov enters.
Khelstakov: Go down and ask for something to eat.
Osip: No. The landlord will not let us have it. He says we are swindlers, and he threatens to have you put in prison.
Khelstakov: Go to the devil! Call the landlord. (Osip goes.) How fearfully hungry I am. And I was cheated at cards and cleaned right out at Penza by that infantry captain. What a miserable little town this is. They give no credit at the provision shops.
[Enter Waiter.
Waiter: The landlord asks what you want.
Khelstakov: Please bring my dinner at once. I must be busy directly I have dined.
The waiter replies that the landlord refuses to supply anything more, and seems likely to complain to the governor. But presently dinner is brought in. To Khlestakov's great consternation Osip announces that the governor has come and is asking for him.
Khelstakov: What? The landlord has reported me! I'll put on an aristocratic air, and ask him how he dares——
Governor, entering in trepidation and saluting humbly, astonishes him by profuse offers of hospitality and entertainment, though when at first mention is made of taking him to other quarters, the guest in horror ejaculates that he supposes the gaol is meant, and he asks what right the governor has to hint at such a thing.
Khelstakov (indignantly): How dare you? I—I—I am a government official at St. Petersburg. I—I—I——
Governor (aside): Good heavens, what a rage he is in! He knows everything. Those confounded merchants have told him all.
Banging the table, Khelstakov declares he will not go to the gaol, but will complain to the Minister of the Interior; and the governor, trembling and terrified, pleads that he has a wife and little children, and begs that he may not be ruined. The ridiculous misunderstanding on both sides grows more confused every minute. The governor pours forth the most abject apologies; declares that if the people accuse him of oppression and extortion, and even of flogging women, they are a slandering mob.
Khelstakov: What have I to do with your enemies or the women you have flogged? Don't attempt to flog me. Now, look here, I will pay this landlord's account, but just now I have not the money. That is why I am staying here.
Governor (aside): Sly rogue, trying to mystify me! (Aloud) If you really are short of money, I am ready to serve you at once.
The visitor says that he will in that case borrow 200 roubles, and the money is readily handed over; in fact, the governor quietly slips in 200 extra roubles. The governor, convinced that the inspector-general is simply determined to keep up his incognito, resolves to act accordingly, and to tell falsehoods appropriate for mutual deception. He invites the guest to visit Various institutions, and a round is made.