SECTION XII.
Hearing Kaikeyi's fell speech, the monarch bewailed for a time, and then thought,—"Is this a day-dream unto me or has bewilderment befallen my senses? Is this owing to influence of some evil spirit or has my mind been affected?" Thinking thus, the king could not arrive at the. origin of (this phenomenon); and then he swooned away. Then regaining his senses, he was filled with grief on recollecting Kaikeyi's words; and pained and woe-begone, like unto a deer at the sight of a tigress, he fetched a deep sigh, and sat down on the uncover ed ground. Like a venomous snake confined by power of incantation within a circle, the lord of men, in indignation exclaimed, "O fie!" And deprived of his senses by grief, he again swooned away. After a long while, regaining his senses, he extremely aggrieved, wrathfully, and as if burning in energy, addressed Kaikeyi, saying,—"Thou cruel one! Thou of vile ways! Thou destroyer of this race! O wicked woman, what has been done by Rāma unto thee; or what wrong have I done thee? Rāghava ever serveth thee as a mother. Why thou art then bent upon wronging him? It is to bring down destruction upon myself that through ignorance I brought unto this house thee like unto a serpent of virulent poison. When all men show their regard for Rāma's virtues, for what transgression shall I forsake my dear son? I may renounce Kauçalyā or Sumitrā or the kingdom, or life itself; but Rāma, filled with affection for his father, will I not renounce. I experience supreme delight on beholding my first-born; and when I see him not, I lose my senses. The world may exist without the Sun; and corn without water; but this life doth not exist in this body without Rāma. Do thou then that entertainest unrighteous aims, abandon this intention of thine. I lay my head at thy feet. Be propitious unto me. Why dost thou, O sinful one, cherish in thy mind such a frightful idea? Thou (often) asked me whether I love Bharata or not. Be that which thou hadst formerly told me in favor of that descendant of Raghu. 'That blessed one is my eldest son, and the most righteous of them all' even this, with the view of pleasing me, thou sweet speeched one had said. Now hearing of the installation of Rāma, thou thyself filled with grief, art making me exceedingly aggrieved. Or in this empty chamber having been possessed, thou hast come under influence not thy own. And this signal lawlessness, O exalted lady, has befallen the race of the Ikshwākus; the cause of which, 0 Thou versed in moral laws, is thy mental derangement. Thou didst not formerly do unto me aught that was improper or disagreeable; therefore, O thou of expansive eyes, I cannot rely upon thee (as sane). Thou didst, O girl, many a time tell me that Rāma was equal unto thee with the high-souled Bharata. Wherefore then, O bashful one, dost thou like that the illustrious and righteous Rāma, O exalted dame, should reside in the forest for five and nine years? Why dost thou like that the exceedingly tender Rāma with his soul established in virtue, should dwell in the woods, undergoing terrible hardship? Why dost thou, O thou of graceful eyes, wish Rāma, captivating all creatures, and engaged in ministering unto thee, to be banished? Rāma verily serveth thee far more than doth Bharata; and I do not find that Bharata regardeth thee more than Rāma. Who will, save that foremost of men, so devotedly minister unto thee, regard thee, enhance thy influence, and do thy will. Not one of the many thousands of females and the innumerable retainers (in the palace), has been able to fasten reproach upon Rāma for real or false misconduct. Soothing all creatures with a pure heart, that great soul by means of good officers secureth the affections of the inhabitants of the kingdom. He conquers all the twice-born ones by gifts; and that hero conquers his superiors by ministrations; and his enemies by encountering them with the bow. For certain, in Rāghava are truth and charity, and asceticism,and self- renunciation,and friendship, and purity, and sincerity, and learning, and the disposition to tend his superiors. How, O respected one, canst thou ask for this that will bring thee sin, touching Rāma endowed with candour, and energetic like unto a Maharshi, and resembling a celestial? I do not recollect to have heard Rāma, who ever speaks sweet words, to have used any unpleasant speech to any one; how can I then for thy sake unfold this disagreeable matter unto the beloved Rāma? And what stay have I save him in whom abide forgtveness,and asceticism and renunciation, and verity, and righteousness, and gratitude, and harmless towards all creatures. It behoveth thee, O Kaikeyi, to have pity on me, aged and on the verge of death, and afflicted with grief, and distressed, and engaged in lamentations. Whatever can be obtained in this earth bounded by the ocean I will confer on thee—do thou not bring about my death. O Kaikeyi, 1 clasp my palms, I fall at thy feet, be thou the protector of Rāma, so that sin may not taint me."
When the terrible Kaikeyi in still more terrible language addressed the mighty king, who was burning in grief, and bewailing, and deprived of his senses, and feeling a sensation of whirling, and overwhelmed with woe, and again and again beseeching for crossing this ocean of sorrow, saying. "If, O monarch, having conferred the boon,thou repentest afterwards how, O hero, wilt thou speak of thy righteousness in the world? When,0 thou versed in duty, the Rajarshis assembled around thee, shall ask thee regarding this matter, what wilt thou answer? Wilt thou say, 'by whose favor do I live and who had tended me, unto that Kaikeyi have I broken my promise?' Surely, O lord of men, thou wilt bring disgrace unto all the monarchs (of thy line), since having conferred the boons this very day, thou speakest otherwise. Saivya granted his own flesh unto the bird in the matter of the hawk and the pigeon.[115] And Alarka, having granted his eyes (unto a blind Brahmin) attained excellent state. And the ocean, having bound himself by promise, never passes beyond his shores. Remembering these old stories render not thy promise nugatory. O thou of perverted understanding, renouncing righteousness, and installing Rāma in the kingdom, thou wishest ever to give thyself up to pleasure with Kauçalyā. Whether what I have proposed be righteous or otherwise, whether thou hast promised truly or falsely, swerve not from thy word. If thou install Raima, this very day drinking poison, I will surely die before thee. If I for a single day behold Rāma's mother receiving homage rendered with clasped hands, I will consider death even as welcome, O lord of men, by Bharata's self dear unto me as my own life, I swear that save the exile of Rāma, nothing shall satisfy me."
Having said this, Kaikeyi paused; and maintained silence disregarding the bewailing monarch. The king with his senses overwhelmed with grief, hearing Kaikeyi's exceedingly bitter words, reflected on Rāma's abode in the woods, and the advancement of Bharata, and being bewildered for a while spoke not unto Kaikeyi; but gazed steadfastly at that exalted dame, his beloved wife, who had uttered disagreeable things. And having heard that speech resembling a thunder-bolt, and unpleasant to the heart, and surcharged with grief, the king was extremely pained. Then recollecting that revered lady's resolve, and his own terrible oath, he, sighing forth,—"O Rāma," dropped down like a felled tree. And then that master of the earth being deprived of his sense, was like a mad man, or a patient with his faculties wildered, or a serpent whose energy has been exhausted. In sad and distressful words, he addressed Kaikeyi, saying,—"Who is it that has convinced thee that this exceedingly heinous course is a proper one? Dost thou not feel shame to speak thus unto me, like one whose faculties have been possessed by an evil spirit? I did not know before, when thou wast youthful that thy nature was so perverted; but now I find the very reverse of what I then thought. Whence proceedeth thy fear that thou askest for such a boon—the establishment of Bharata in the kingdom, and the banishment of Rāma into the woods? Do thou cease to urge such a suit that is fraught with evil unto thy wifely virtue, and that will render my word untrue, if thou wishest for the good of thy husband, of the people, and Bharata. O cruel woman; O thou that intendest sinfully, O base wretch, O doer of impious deeds, how have I and Rāma conspired against thy happiness; and what offence dost thou find in us? Bharata will by no means accept the kingdom, depriving Rāma of it, for I consider Bharata a still more grounded in righteousness than Rāma himself. When I shall say,—"Repair unto the forest," and Rāma's countenance will fall, like unto the moon overwhelmed by Rāhu, how shall I behold it? How shall I, having in consultation with my friends come to this decision, retract the same, like unto an army defeated by the enemy? And what will the monarchs coming from various quarters say concerning me,— "Alas! how has this puerile descendant of Ikshwāku reigned so long?' And when many aged folks, endowed with virtues, and accomplished in various lore will ask me concerning Kākutstha, what then shall I sav unto them.—'Sore pressed by Kaikeyi, have I banished Rāma? Even if I speak this truly, yet none will lend credence to it. And what will Kauçalyā say unto me, when Rāma shall have gone to the forest? Having dpne her this mighty wrong, what shall I say unto her? Kauçalyā serves me at the same time like a slave, and a friend, and wife, and sister, and mother. Ever studious of my welfare, dearly loving her son, and speaking every one fair, that exalted lady, although deserving of homage at my hands, has up to this time not been regarded by me, because of thee. That I have so long sought thy welfare, afflicteth me now, even like rice partaken by a sick person with curries that are unhealthful. Beholding Rāma deprived of his kingdom, and banished unto the forest, why will Sumitrā alarmed believe in me. Ah! woe to me! Vaidehi will have to hear of two evil events,—my death and Rāma's journey unto the woods. Alas! my Vaidehi, indulging in grief, will renounce her existence, like a Kinnari on the side of the Himavat, who has been forsaken by her kinnara. When I shall witness Rāma repairing to the mighty forest, and Sitā weeping (in grief) , I shall not hope for a long life; and thou, becoming a widow, will reign along with thy son. Like unto a goodly liquor, which people having partaken it, subsequently find to contain poison, I have found thee, who had passed for a chaste woman, to be now really unchaste. Having soothed me with soft but false words, thou speakest thus. Thou hast killed me like a deer that has been entrapped by a hunter, having been allured into the net through the sound of a song. Surely gentle folks will on the high-way censure me as one lost to gentility,—as one who has sold his son (for buying his wife's good graces), even like a Brāhmana given to drinking. Alas! alas! having promised thee the boon, I have to bear these words of thine; and have come by this grief like unto evil consequent upon misdeeds in a previous existence. Wretch as I am, like a halter set round one's neck, have I, O vile woman, cherished thee through ignorance. Not knowing thee for my death, I have sported with thee, like an infant dallying in solitude with a venomous snake. Surely, people will be justified in con- demning me wicked-minded that I am, for my son having been deprived of his ancestral kingdom by me; saying,— "Alas! king Daçarātha is foolish and lustful; for he sends his beloved son to the woods for the sake of his wife." Rāma has grown emaciated by study ng the Vedas, leading the Brahmācharyya mode of life, and serving his preceptors,—- will he again undergo this mighty toil at this time of enjoyment? My son is incapable of uttering a second word unto me; and commissioned, he will repair to the woods, saying, 'Very well.' if ordered with 'Go to the forest,' Rāghava does not consent, even that would conduce to my pleasure; but he will do nothing of the kind. And Rāghava having gone to the forest, Death will surely summon me away to his abode who am of exceedingly reprehensible character, and who am universally execrated. And I having been dead and that best of men, Rāma, having gone to the woods (I do not know) to what a plight thou wilt bring my kindreds. And if Kauçalyā loses me and Rāma, and Sumitrā loses her two sons and me and Rāma, then tormented with the extreme of grief, those exalted ladies will follow me. Do thou, O Kaikeyi, casting into hell Kauçalyā and Sumitrā and myself with our three sons, attain happiness. Renounced by me as well as Rāma, this lkshwaku line existing from a time immemorial, and ennobled by excellent qualities, and incapable of coming by grief, thou wilt rule, when it shall have been overwhelmed with misfortune. If the banishment of Rāma, be agreeable to Bharata let him not, when I am dead, perform my funeral obsequies. When I am dead, and when that foremost of men has gone to the forest, do thou, a widow, rule the kingdom along with thy son. O daughter of a king, when by chance thou residest in my mansion, I must come by signal infamy and discomfiture in the world, and meet with general disregard, like unto a sinful person. How having always gone on cars and elephants and horses, will dear Rāma range in the forest on foot? How will my son, at the approach of whose meal-time, cooks wearing ear-rings and emulating each other prepare excellent meats and drinks, pass his days, living on fare furnished by the woods, of astringent, or bitter, or pungent taste? How will he, who has always been clad in costly attire, and who has always enjoyed happiness, will dwell on the bare earth, wearing a piece of red cloth? From whom hast thou received this inconceivable and dreadful advice,— Rāma's journey to the woods and installation of Bharata? Fie upon women, crafty and selfish! But I must not name all women—I mean only the mother of Bharata. O thou that art intent upon doing mischief unto all, O thou addicted to selfishness, O cruel one, has God made thy mind so very vile, only to torment me? What wrong hast thou come by either through me, or Rāma ever engaged in thy welfare? On beholding Rāma plunged in sorrow, fathers will forsake sons, and wives attached unto their husbands will forsake them, and the entire earth will be affected with ill-humour. When I hear him coming, adorned like unto a son of the celestials, I rejoice on casting my eyes on him, and I feel as if I had regained my youth. Men may do without the Sun, and the wielder of the thunder-bolt not raining, but none, I apprehend, can live, on witnessing Rāma repairing hence. I have kept in my mansion, like unto my own death, thee that desirest my destruction, and art intent upon doing me wrong, and art my foe. I have for a long time held thee on my lap, like unto a she-snake of virulent poison; therefore in consequence of my folly, I now meet with destruction. Now dissevered from me, and Rāma together with Lakshmana, let Bharata govern the city and the kingdom along with thee. Destroying thy relatives, do thou enhance the joy of my enemies. O thou cruelly-disposed, O thou bringer on of calamities, since banishing all sense of the relation in which we stand to each other as husband and wife, thou hast spoken thus, why reduced to thousand fragments thy teeth drop not from off thy mouth down to the ground? Rāma has not used any harsh speech towards thee. Indeed Rāma knows no harsh speech; why then dost thou seek to inflict upon Rāma (ever) pleasant spoken, and endowed with agreeable qualities—such wrongs. O thou that renderest infamous the king of the Kekayas, whether thou becomest miserable, or enterest into fire, or killest thyself (by taking poison), or divest into the bowels of the earth opened at a thousand places, I will not execute thy fell intention that is fraught with evil unto me. I do not wish, that thou, like unto a razor, and ever speaking pleasant falsehoods, and possessed of a vile heart, the destroyer of thy own race,—thou that wishest to burn my heart and life, thou unbeautiful one, mayst remain alive. My life itself is in jeopardy,—where then is my happiness? Where is the happiness of parents without their sons? It behoveth thee not, O noble dame, to do evil unto me. I take hold of thy feet; be thou propitious unto me." As bewailing thus like one forlorn the ruler of earth whose heart was captivated by Kaikeyi on account of her supreme beauty proceeded to take hold of her feet, who having banished all self respect, sat with her legs stretched, he, without being able to come at them, fell down in a swoon, like one enfeebled with disease.