A Parody on “Uncle Sam’s Farm.”
Of all the reformations, in the east or in the west,
Oh, the temperance reformation is the greatest and the best,
We invite the whole creation our pledge to come and sign,
And leave off drinking brandy, rum, cider, beer, and wine.
Chorus.
Then come along, come along, make no delay,
Come sign the temperance pledge, sign it right away,
For if you do but keep it, you need not fear alarm
But you will soon be rich enough to buy a handsome farm.
The temperance cause is spreading o’er this our native land,
And Alchy with his subjects know not where to make a stand.
His army is decreasing, and soon there’ll be but few,
Who to oppose the temperance cause on Alchy’s smiles get blue.
The drunkard is so foolish that he will money waste,
On liquor, when there’s water more pleasant to the taste;
The water is much cheaper, and much more healthy too,
And never makes a man a fool—which liquors often do.
It never yet caused people to quarrel and to fight,
Or come home intoxicated at twelve o’clock at night.
Cold water never caused man in the gutter to be found,
And never, as I know of, to feel upward for the ground.
Now if you only hasten our pledge to come and sign,
To leave off drinking brandy, rum, cider, gin, and wine,
You can not help but prosper in your business through life,
Provided you have with you a nice teetotal wife.