A Hobo’s Lament

I said: Good man, can you help me,

I’m a millionaire dead broke;

But the poor old man was deaf and dumb,

I could tell by the way he spoke.

* * *

Officer—“Why didn’t you salute? Don’t you know I’m a captain?”

Buck Private—“That’s a darn good job. Hang on to it.”

* * *

“Late house tonight, my love,” she’ll say,

“Midnight or later maybe,

If I’m not home till break of day,

You stand to with the baby.”

* * *

I have a wife and I have a flivver. My license to run the flivver is o. k., but my license to run my wife absolutely is the bunk.

* * *