She Knew the Truth
“Both of dese here gents,” said the witness, Mandy Thomas, rather impressed with the importance of being in court, “was standing at the corner conversin’ with each other pretty hot an’ pointed like.”
“Relate the conversation,” said the prosecutor.
“Ah don’t jest remember, sah,” said Mandy, “’cept dat dey was callin’ each other what dey is.”
* * *
Women used to carry money in their stocking, but it’s not safe to put money in public places now.
* * *
A rash marriage is only skin deep.
Smokehouse Poetry
Whiz Bang has a double-winner for Smokehouse fans next issue! “The Lure of the Tropics” and “The Far East.”
“O’er chicle camps and logwood swamps
I hunted him many a moon,
Then found my man in a long pit pan
At the edge of a blue lagoon.
“The chase was o’er at the farther shore;
It ended a two-year quest,
And I left him there with an empty stare
And a knife stuck in his chest.”
That’s the swing of the most noted poem of the tropics, “The Far East,” an excerpt from which follows, is familiar to Philippine war veterans:
“By the mud hole down in Subic
Looking lazy at the bay,
There’s a goo-goo dame awaiting,
And I think I hear her say:
‘Come you back you malo soldier
Come you back from o’er the sea,
Come you back and pay your jaw-bone,
Por-a-que! You jaw-bone me?’”
* * *