My Evening Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Behold, around me bed-bugs creep.
* * *
Harrowed husband to barber: Please don’t use that sweet smelling soap on my face.
Barber: Why not, sir; it has a delicate lasting scent.
Harrowed husband: That’s just it; my wife won’t believe it.
* * *
I’VE HAD A LOT OF JOYS ON EARTH;
I DON’T WANT TO BE A HOG.
REINCARNATED—I WANT TO BE
A BATHING BEAUTY’S DOG.
* * *
Don’t swell up when someone takes you for a ride. You might be used as ballast.
* * *
A skinny girl in an evening dress, shows more backbone than a man.
* * *
You can string beans and kid gloves, but you can’t bull frogs.
* * *