Getting the Sheckels
Why wait until you’re old and bent?
The wise bird took ’em as he went.
* * *
Over in Italy they have a new drink, made out of prunes. They call it Prunell. That’s nothing. Over here they have a new drink made out of raisins. They call it Raisenell.
* * *
Stranger (winking): Can you direct me to a good drug store?
Villager: You’re talking to one right now.
* * *
The ocean wearily exclaimed,
“Incessantly I go;
I wonder that I don’t get corns
Upon my undertow.”
* * *
The first Tommy was ruddy of complexion, with a huge growth of beard of the hue known as auburn.
The second was smooth shaven. Said the latter: “I useter have a beard like that till I saw myself in the glass. Then I cut it off.”
But the bearded man was not dismayed.
“Much better ’ave left it on, mate,” he returned gently. “I useter have a face like yours till I saw it in the glass. Then I growed this beard.”
* * *