It Cannot Vas
Ikey—Papa I’m in lof. Ain’t it a fine feelings?
Papa—Dat’s nice, Ikey; who is de goil?
Ikey—Ah papa, she’s a peaches and cream. She’s good looking, she’s a good housekeeper, her papa’s got lots of money and—
Papa—Vat’s her name, Ikey?
Ikey—Alma Rosenbloom, ain’t she a daisy?
Papa—You mean de clothing man’s daughtair?
Ikey—Dat’s de goil, papa. How do you like it?
Papa—Ikey, I’m very sorry but it cannot vas.
Ikey—It cannot vas, papa, for why?
Papa—You see, Ikey, ven I vas a young man I was married before and Alma Rosenbloom iss your sistair.
After a lapse of time Ikey comes in again, all smiles and joyfully greets his father with the announcement—
Papa, I’m in lof again.
Papa (anxiously)—Who iss de goil dis time?
Ikey—Ah she’s a fine buxoms, she’s a good musician, she can cook, she’s good looking, her papa’s got lots of money, and—
Papa—Ikey, tell your papa, who is de goil?
Ikey—It’s Rosa Lipshuts.
Papa—You mean de pawnbroker’s daughtair?
Ikey—Dat’s de baby, ain’t she a fine catches?
Papa (shaking his head in the negative)—Ikey, I’m very sorry but it cannot vas.
Ikey—It cannot vas, papa, for why it cannot vas?
Papa—You see, Ikey, ven I vas a young man I vas married twice and Rosa Lipshuts iss your sistair also.
At this Ikey could no longer contain himself and gave vent to his feelings in an outburst of boo-hooing. To hide his disappointment he sought refuge in his room where his mother, attracted by his sobs, came to console him.
Mama—Ikey, for vhy are you crying?
Ikey—Oh, mama it’s too terrible, it’s too terrible.
Mama—Tell your mama, Ikey, for vhy do you cry?
Ikey did.
Mama (patting her boy on the head)—Dat’s all right, Ikey. You go an marry de goil. She’s a good goil, she’s got lots of money, and—
Ikey (between sobs)—But, mama, it cannot vas.
Mama—Yes, it can vas, Ikey. You see ven a young goil I vas married before also and your papa is not your fathair.
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