The Fireless Telephone

In Hades: “Hell-o!”

In Heaven: “Hal-o!”

* * *

“Were you ever pinched for going too fast?”

“No, but I’ve been slapped.”

* * *

“Mary, Mary, slightly airy,

How do the fashions go?”

“Piled up hair and shoulders bare

And vertebrae all in a row.”

* * *

“Sir,” writes a correspondent, “When I was in Butte I dropped my meal ticket on the floor and one of those miners with hob-nailed shoes stepped on it and punched out a week’s board.”

* * *