When Wifie’s Away
Of all the insidious temptations invidious
Contrived by the Devil to put a man down,
There is no more elusive, seductive, abusive,
Than the snare to the man when his wife’s out of town.
He feels such delightfulness,
Stay-out-all-nightfulness,
Be sure to get tightfulness,
’Tis one without pain.
A bachelor’s rakishness,
What won’t you takishness,
None can explain.
His wife may be beautiful, tender and dutiful,
’Tis not that her absence would cause him delight,
But the grand opportunity,
The baleful immunity,
Scatters his scruples as day scatters night.
* * *
There was a young man named Whiteside,
He always slept on his rightside.
When the “cooties” would crawl,
You could hear the boob bawl,
As he made a quick dash for the outside.
* * *