PARLIAMENTARY TITBITS.

Edmund Burke, the distinguished orator and writer, at the close of an election in 1774, in an eloquent speech, thanked his constituents for electing him as their member. He was followed by his colleague, Mr Cruger, a merchant, who, after the orator’s remarks, contented himself by exclaiming: ‘Gentlemen, I say ditto to Mr Burke!’

Two stories are told of Lord Brougham. On being offered the post of Chief Baron of the Exchequer, Brougham refused it, alleging that its acceptance would prevent the continuance of his parliamentary duties. ‘True,’ rejoined Canning; ‘but you will be only one stage from the woolsack.’—‘Yes,’ said Brougham; ‘but the horses will be off.’

The second is contained in a remark of Sydney Smith, who, seeing Brougham in a carriage on the panel of which was the letter B. surmounted by a coronet, observed: ‘There goes a carriage with a B outside and a wasp inside.’

Lord Erskine had the following unique form of replying to begging letters: ‘Sir—I feel honoured by your application, and I beg to subscribe’—here the recipient had to turn over the leaf—‘myself, your very obedient servant.’

Lord Palmerston’s good-humour as a distinct element of his character is well known. We find it even during his last illness, when his physician was forced to mention death. ‘Die, my dear doctor!’ he exclaimed; ‘that’s the last thing I shall do.’

When Shiel had learned by heart, but failed to remember, the exordium of a speech beginning with the word ‘Necessity,’ which he repeated three times, Sir Robert Peel continued: ‘Is not always the mother of invention.’

Some good sayings are attributed to George Selwyn, who was called ‘the receiver-general of wit and stray jokes,’ and was a silent member of parliament for many years. When told that Sir Joshua Reynolds intended to stand for parliament, Selwyn replied: ‘Sir Joshua is the ablest man I know on a canvas.’

Horace Walpole, when complaining one day of the existence of the same indecision, irresolution, and want of system, in the reign of George III. as had been witnessed in that of Queen Anne, remarked concerning the continuance of the Duke of Newcastle as First Lord of the Treasury after the accession of George III.: ‘There is nothing new under the sun.’—‘Nor under the grandson,’ added Selwyn, George III. being the grandson of George II.

George III. one day alluded to Selwyn as ‘that rascal George;’ on which Selwyn asked: ‘What does that mean?’ Immediately adding: ‘Oh, I forgot; it is one of the hereditary titles of the Georges.’

The Duke of Cumberland on asking Selwyn how a horse he had lately purchased answered, received the reply: ‘I really don’t know; I have never asked him a question.’

When it was proposed at one time to tax coals instead of iron, Sheridan objected to the proposal on the ground that ‘it would be a jump from the frying-pan into the fire.’

Many other examples might be given of Sheridan’s wit; we shall mention three. On meeting one day two royal dukes, one of them said that they had just been discussing whether Sheridan were a greater fool than knave. The wit, placing himself between them, quickly replied: ‘Why, faith, I believe I’m between the two.’ His son said that were he in parliament, he would write on his forehead, ‘To let.’—‘Add “unfurnished,”’ suggested the father. On another occasion, when asked by his tailor for at least the interest of his bill, Sheridan replied: ‘It is not my interest to pay the principal, nor my principle to pay the interest.’

With this last we may compare Talleyrand’s method in dealing with creditors. When asked by one when he should receive payment, the only answer given was: ‘Ma foi, how inquisitive you are!’

We shall draw this paper to a close by quoting from The Anecdotal History of Parliament the following:

‘An Irish Election Bill.—The following bill was sent by an innkeeper at Trim to Sir Mark Somerville, who had given an order that all persons who voted for him in a contested election for Meath should be boarded and lodged at his expense. The bill, it is said, is still kept in a frame at the family seat.

April 16, 1826.

My Bill—

To eating 16 freeholders above-stairs for Sir Marks, at 3s. 3d. a head, is to me £2, 12s.

To eating 16 more below-stairs, and 2 priests after supper, is to me, £2, 15s. 9d.

To 6 beds in one room, and 4 in a nother at 2 guineas every bed, and not more than four in any bed, at any time cheap enough, God knows, is to me, £22, 15s.

To 18 horses and 5 mules about my yard all night at 13s. every one of them, and for a man which was lost on the head of watching them all night, is to me, £5, 5s.

For breakfast on tay in the morning for every one of them and as many more as they brought, as near as I can guess, £4, 12s.

To raw whisky and punch, without talking of pipes, tobacco, as well as for porter, and as well as for breaking a pot above-stairs and other glasses and delf for the first day and night, I am not sure, but for the three days and a half of the election as little as I can call it, and to be very exact, it is all or thereabouts as near as I can guess, and not to be too particular, is to me at least, £79, 15s. 9d.

For shaving and cropping off the heads of the 49 freeholders for Sir Marks, at 13d. for every head of them by my brother had a wote, is to me, £2, 13s. 1d. For a womit and a nurse for poor Tom Kernan in the middle of the night, when he was not expected, is to me ten hogs.

I don’t talk of the piper, or for keeping him sober as long as he was sober, is to me, £0.

THE TOTAL.
21200
21509Signed
in the place of Jemmy Cars wife
his
Bryan × Garraty
Mark.
221500
5500
41200
791509
21301
1010
00
£11018s.7d.,

you may say £111, 0s. 0d. So your Honour, Sir Marks, send me this eleven hundred by Bryan himself, who and I prays for your success always in Trim, and no more at present.’