OVERCOMING DIFFIDENCE.
By G. Q. C.
DIFFERENCE IN PERSONS ABOUT SPEAKING IN PUBLIC—THE LORD WILLING TO HELP HIS SERVANTS TO OVERCOME TIMIDITY—EARLY EXPERIENCE IN PREACHING—A FEELING OF FEAR AND THE SPIRIT OF GOD NOT CONGENIAL—TIMIDITY CONQUERED.
It is most interesting to listen at meetings to the different testimonies which the Latter-day Saints bear concerning the work of God. The experience of no two persons is exactly the same, and yet all are true. One is impressed with an evidence of the truth in one way and another in another way.
So also it is with the experience of the Elders; the experience of each varies according to the constitution and temperament, the bent of mind and the circumstances which surround each one.
We have met with a few men in our life who never seemed to know what it was to be timid in standing up before an audience. They always seemed to be perfectly self-possessed, and did not suffer in the least from fear; while we have known others who felt that it was impossible for them to stand on their feet and address an audience.
Some Elders in starting out, quickly conquer their feelings of timidity. They soon get into the habit of thinking and talking upon their feet. They seem to care nothing about the congregation, while others require a long time to get accustomed to speaking to audiences, and are easily embarrassed.
We firmly believe that the Lord will help every man to overcome this timidity when sent upon a mission to preach the gospel. If he does not conquer the feeling of fear, it is because he allows it to master him, and does not use that faith which he should to shake it off.
The writer started out as a missionary when he felt that he was but a comparative youth. He was exceedingly timid, and had a mortal dread of standing up before a congregation. He sometimes thought that no one could have suffered from this feeling as he did.
But there was one thing that he made up his mind to do—to never shrink from the discharge of his duty. If he should be called upon to pray, to bear testimony or to speak, he was resolved that he would do his best, and put his trust in the Lord to help him out.
With the exception of a few meetings, his first experience as a missionary was in preaching in a strange language to a foreign people. This was doubtless more embarrassing than it would have been to speak to the people in his mother tongue, because there was his awkwardness in the use of the language in addition to the ordinary feelings of timidity to contend with.
He well remembers the feelings that he had prior to the first meeting. If he could have run away, and done so honorably, he would have done it, but this would have been disgraceful.
He did the best he could, and suffered considerably from embarrassment; and though he baptized some nineteen souls in the ensuing five weeks, yet he suffered at each meeting from the same feelings of dread.
Something occurred on the sixth Sunday to arouse him and make him somewhat angry. The conduct of some preachers and opponents of the gospel was very hateful, and in attending meeting that day he enjoyed greater liberty than he had at any time previously. A fearless spirit took possession of him, and the Spirit was able to speak through him as it had not done before.
The feeling of fear when it rests upon a man, drives away the Spirit of God. The two spirits cannot exist in the same bosom. One must have the mastery. If the Spirit of God has the mastery, it drives away all fear, and enables a man to speak under its influence with power. If the spirit of fear has the mastery, the Spirit of God is checked, and the man is not able to tell the people the will and counsel of the Lord.
After six weeks' preaching in this locality, the writer visited another place, where the people were very anxious to hear. He succeeded in getting a large meeting-house to preach in, and when he arose to give out the hymns and to pray, the sound of his own voice in the building frightened him.
The congregation was a larger one than he had ever addressed before; but he prayed earnestly to the Lord for help. He knew that no power but God's could assist him and enable him to declare the truth.
After reading a portion of the scriptures, he commenced speaking, and continued to address the people for upwards of an hour. He was completely carried away by the Spirit, and fear was banished. Tears coursed down the cheeks of the congregation, and many felt the power of God to so great an extent that they came forward and offered themselves for baptism.
A great work was done in that place and the vicinity, and from that time to the present—about thirty years—the writer has never suffered from fear as he did previous to that day.
It is true that many men never can arise before a congregation without feeling some degree of embarrassment and trepidation. The writer is one of these; but that fear which paralyzes the mind, that impairs the memory and produces a feeling of dread and utter forgetfulness of everything that one knows, he has never experienced from that time.
We relate this instance in our experience to show how differently Elders are affected. Some can speak without any difficulty or fear after the first time they get on their feet. It takes others, as in our own case, a longer time to overcome this feeling, probably arising from the fact that some have by nature more of that man-fearing spirit. Others, again, may require a still longer time; but what we wish to impress upon our young readers, and upon all who read these pages, is that they should not be discouraged because the first time they get on their feet, or the second or third, they do not speak with that freedom they desire.
When the Spirit of God takes possession of a man, and he will yield to its influence, it will take away all fear, and enable him to tell the truth in great plainness; and if he will persevere, nothing doubting, we dare promise every Elder that he will be able to overcome his feelings of fear and embarrassment, and be filled with holy boldness to declare the gospel unto the people in whose midst he is appointed to labor.