Some Amusing Blunders
A divine in drawing the attention of his congregation to a special communion service on the following Sunday informed them that “the Lord is with us in the forenoon and the Bishop in the evening.”
A Scotch minister innocently, perhaps, hit the mark by telling his people, “Weel, friends, the kirk is urgently in need of siller, and as we have failed to get money honestly we will have to see what a bazar can do for us.”
There is a certain amount of excuse to be made for the young curate who, remarking that some people came to church for no better reason than to show off their best clothes, finished up as he glanced over his audience, “I am thankful to see, dear friends, that none of you has come here for that reason.”
A negro student when conducting the prayers at one of the great missionary colleges, said, “Give us all pure hearts, give us all clean hearts, give us all sweet hearts,” to which the entire congregation made response, “Amen.”
The giving-out of church notices has often proved a pitfall for the unwary. “During Lent,” said a rector lately, “several preachers will preach on Wednesday evenings, but I need not give their names, as they will be all found hanging up in the porch.”