The Voice of the Lady
“Life” recently printed this extremely clever sketch by Tom Masson:
It was a quiet Sunday morning on a side street. A playful breeze had lifted off the tarpaulin that covered the newsstand, and the magazines were enjoying a quiet hour by themselves.
“Harper’s” took occasion to edge away from “McClure’s.”
“Your cheapness makes me dizzy,” it observed, with a superior sniff.
“My cheapness is as nothing to your dullness,” exclaimed “McClure’s,” with some heat.
“Nonsense!” replied “Harper’s.” “Why, I once published an interesting story.”
A chorus of groans greeted this admission.
“The trouble with you fellows,” observed “The Century,” “is that you do not understand the really serious side of life.”
“How can we,” observed “The Metropolitan,” “for we have not, like you, a humorous department? We——”
There was a commotion. While these observations were going on “Munsey’s” and “Everybody’s” were having a dispute.
“I publish sillier stuff than you,” said “Munsey’s.”
“I defy you to prove it,” said “Everybody’s.”
“Let’s form a ring and have them fight it out,” suggested a rank outsider—“The Clipper.”
At this, however, there was a protest from one hitherto silent. A soft soprano voice spoke.
“Gentlemen,” it said, “would you fight in the presence of ladies?”
Whereupon the rest of the magazines took off their hats, and one by one lapsed into respectful silence, as THE LADIES’ HOME JOURNAL, arranging its skirts anew with gentle precision, passed out on its way to church.