THE KITCHEN RANGE OF ART.
Soyer, in his Modern Housewife, is quite angry that our great Painters have never busied themselves with "such useful and interesting subjects" as the subjects of the kitchen, instead of "continually tracing on innumerable yards of canvas the horrors of war, the destruction of a fire by fire or water, the plague, the storm, the earthquake." For this purpose, Soyer suggests some admirable historical events, connected with the Cuisine, on which artists might, with advantage, employ their genius. Among others, he mentions the following:
"Louis XIV., at Versailles, receiving from the hands of the Pacha the First Cup of Café ever made in France."
"Voltaire helping Frederic, on the Field of Potsdam, with a Cup of Cho-ca."
"Cardinal Mazarin tasting, at the Louvre, the First Cup of Chocolate."
In all matters of taste (excepting his Nectar and his Economical Soup, which, we candidly confess, we never could stomach) we always agree with the mighty Soyer. And we are so moved with his indignation at the neglect with which artists have too long visited all subjects connected with culinary art, that we go out of our way to give Royal Academicians the benefit of the following notions, which may have the desired effect of elevating the Cuisine to the same level as the Conqueror's Tent, or the Monarch's Council Chamber. We see a grand historical picture in each of the following suggestions:
"George the Third in the Old Woman's Cottage, wondering 'how ever the apples got inside the apple-dumpling.'"
"Ude Tearing his Hair, upon learning that the British Nobleman had put salt into his soup."
"The Duke of Norfolk conceiving the brilliant notion of rescuing a Nation from Starvation, by means of his celebrated Curry-Powder."
"The Immortal Courage of the Great Unknown who Swallowed the First Oyster."
"Marie-Antoinette wondering how the People could starve, when there were such nice little Gâteaux at three sous apiece."
"Napoleon Eating the Dish of Stewed Mushrooms, by which, it is said, he lost (in consequence of the indigestion), the Battle of Leipzig."
"The Resignation of Soyer at the Reform Club."
"Portrait of the Celebrated American Oyster, that was so large, that it took three men to swallow it."
"Abernathy inventing his Dinner-Pill."
"Brillat Savarin tasting the Wonderful Sauce, that was so delicious, that a person could eat his own father with it."
"Cæsar, or Dando, Astonishing the Natives."
"Heroic Death of Vatel, upon hearing that the Fish had not arrived."
"Cann first hitting upon the glorious idea of giving in Holborn 'a devilish good dinner for 2-1/2d.'"
As soon as our great Painters have put into living shape the above delicious morçeaux, we shall be prepared to furnish them with another course of the same choice quality.
REWARD OF MERIT.
Ragged Urchin.—"Please give Dad a Short Pipe?"
Barman.—"Can't do it. Don't know him."
Ragged Urchin.—"Why, he gets Drunk here every Saturday Night."
Barman.—"Oh! Does he, my Little Dear? Then 'ere's a Nice Long 'un, with a bit of Wax at the end."