THOUGHTS ON FRENCH AFFAIRS.
(Selected from a Course of Lectures by Professor Punch.)
The President has been elected for ten years. By the time this period has closed, it will be found that not only the term of the President's power, but the prosperity of France will be Decade (Decayed).
"Election," according to the Dictionaries, is a synonym for "Choice.'" But in Louis Napoleon's new Political Dictionary we find the significant addendum:—"'Hobson's' understood."
The two parties in France, who are the one in favor of a King and the other in favor of a Commonwealth, are easily distinguished by the denominations of Monarchists and Republicans; but there is some difficulty in finding a denomination for those in favor of an Empire, unless we adopt that of Empirics.
The President is said to be a firm believer in the Thompsonian practice of medicine. This is probable, from the fact that he has treated the Insurgents with Cayenne.
In honor of the vote for Louis Napoleon "the Tower of Notre Dame was decorated with hangings." Considering the origin of the present government, which is based on so many shootings, a very appropriate decoration is by means of hanging.
The French trees of Liberty have been cut down and the wood given to the poor for fuel. The only liberty which the French have is—to warm themselves.
The French have long been well instructed in Deportment; the President is now giving them lessons in Deportation.
France is still quiet; she is taking her little ap.
EARLY PUBLICATION OF A LIBERAL PAPER IN PARIS.—Time—Four A.M.
SCENE FROM THE "PRESIDENT'S PROGRESS."
(Suggested by Hogarth's Rake's Progress.)
This plate represents the "Prince President" taking possession of the effects of his deceased Uncle. From an old chest he has rummaged out the Imperial globe, crown, eagle, and collar. The Code Napoleon, a pair of military boots—too large to fit the new owner—and a bayonet, make up the remainder of the contents of the chest. The sceptre is surmounted by an expanded hand, the thumb of which comes in suspicious proximity to the nose of a bust of the Uncle. From an open closet the Imperial eagle, reduced to the last state of emaciation, is looking out. In the fireplace is the Imperial chair, to which an old hag, who might pass for the Avenging Nemesis, is setting fire, probably with the wood of the Trees of Liberty. Sundry hoards, left by the former occupant of the house, have been discovered, from which the young heir's ghostly attendant is helping himself. The new tailor, Monsieur Gendarme, is in the act of measuring the President for a suit of "Imperial purple, first quality." Mademoiselle Liberte, accompanied by her mother, Madame France, comes to demand the fulfillment of the promises he has made her, and has brought the wedding-ring; but he refuses to fulfill his solemnly sworn engagement; and offers money to the mother, who rejects it with an expression of countenance that brooks no good to the gay deceiver. "The characters in this picture," says Heir Sauerteig, "are admirably developed; the stupid brutality of the heir, the grief and shame of the poor deceived Liberte, the anger of France, which, it is clear, will not be satisfied with words, the greed and avarice of the peculating priest, and the business-like air of the tailor—perfectly indifferent whether he fits his patron with an imperial robe or a convict's blouse—are worthy of the highest admiration."
Lady.—"I have called, Mr. Squills to say that my darling Dog(!) has taken all his Mixture, but his Cough is no better."
Master Tom—"Have a Weed, Gran'pa?"
Gran'pa.—"A what! Sir?"
Master Tom.—"A Weed!—A Cigar, you know."
Gran'pa.—"Certainly not, Sir. I never smoked in my life."
Master Tom.—"Ah! then I wouldn't advise you to begin."
EFFECTS OF A STRIKE.
Upon the Capitalist. Upon the Workman.
Mr. ——.—"So, your Name is Charley, is it? Now, Charley doesn't know who I am?"
Sharp Little Boy.—"Oh yes! but I do, though."
Mr. ——.—"Well, who am I?"
Sharp Little Boy.—"Why, you're the Gentleman who kissed Sister Sophy in the Library, the other night, when you thought no one was there."
"I say, Cook, will you ask the Policeman, could he step up—there's a Row in the next street."