A WREATH OF CHRISTMAS SMILES.
BY CODDLES AND TODDLES.
C. (1 a.m.). "Is it raining out, Tod?"
T. "Raining! No; it's snowing hard."
C. "I don't think Santa Claus will come, then, 'cause papa said he uses reindeers only to pull his sleigh."
T. (2 a.m.). "Cod, I wonder why Santa Claus only comes at night!"
C. "I guess it's because he doesn't want to make his presents known."
C. (3 a.m.). "Say, Tod, wake up! I thought you said you were not going to sleep till Santa Claus came."
T. "I didn't go to sleep. I only forgot I was awake."
T. (4 a.m.). "Santa Claus is so long in coming, I think he's mistaken us for somebody he's left presents with."
C. "Probably he's had a misgiving, and left them with somebody else."
C. (5 a.m.). "Tod, did you hear that crash?"
T. "No; what was it?"
C. "The day breaking through the window."
T. (6 a.m.). "I wonder what time it is, Cod?"
C. "Don't know; it's so cold, I guess the clock's frozen."
T. "Ha! ha! don't you know a clock has a running spring, and that never freezes?"
C. (7 a.m.). "I wonder where Santa Claus learned to come down chimneys?"
T. "That's easy. He took lessons off that camel that went through the eye of a needle."
T. (8 a.m.). "Look here, Cod, you shouldn't have eaten all little Ethel's buckwheat cakes like that. Mamma's awful angry."
C. "Well, I only did what papa told me, and that was to always take her part."
C. (9 a.m.). "Papa, did Santa Claus ever go to school?"
Papa. "I guess so."
T. "I don't think he had to study hard, 'cause he was a gifted scholar before he went."
T. (10 a.m.). "I wonder why Santa Claus gave me this rocking-horse?"
C. "What is the matter with the horse?"
T. "Why, you know all horses have to be broken before they are ridden, and if I break this one, I don't see how I can use him."
C. (11 a.m.). "I am going to have lots of fights with the bicycle Santa Claus gave me."
T. "What's wrong about it?"
C. "Oh, I'll have to give it a blowing up every now and then."
T. (12 m., in a whisper). "Cod, that turkey looks fine, doesn't it? Ain't you afraid that when he goes to the next world he'll haunt you?"
C. "No. Turkeys have their necks twirled in this."
C. (1 p.m.). "Say, Tod, this plum-pudding reminds me of a river with a dam in it."
T. "Why?"
C. "Oh, because the currants are all stemmed."
T. (2 p.m.). "Cod, mamma said she is sorry she bought the Christmas turkey for dinner."
C. "Did she?"
T. "Yes; mamma said we developed into such fine turkey gobblers that we might have been used instead."
C. (3 p.m.). "Papa, Dan couldn't pull this sleigh if he didn't have legs, could he?"
Papa. "No, of course not."
C. "Everything that runs has to have legs."
T. "Oh no, they don't. The runners of this sleigh haven't any legs."
T. (4 p.m.). "Did you ever see any peddlers in the Park, papa? Cod says there's lots of them."
Papa. "I never noticed any."
C. "Oh yes, papa! there are scores of bicycle-pedallers here every day."
C. (5 p.m.). "Did you know even old Father Time made us a Christmas gift of an hour to-day."
T. "What hour is that, Tod?"
C. "Why, the present one."
T. (6 p.m.). "You'd better look out for those turkey patties, Tod. They're dangerous, and might go off."
C. "What's the matter with them?"
T. "They're full of fowl in pieces."
C. (7 p.m.). "Do you know why Santa Claus is like the weather to-day?"
T. "No."
C. "Because he was dew this morning and is mist to-night."
T. (8 p.m.) "Cod, look! that Christmas tree is so heavily loaded with presents I'm afraid it will sink through the floor."
C. "Papa will start the candles on it in a minute, and then it will grow much lighter."
C. (9 p.m.). "That little girl over there borrowed a face to come to our party to-night."
T. "What makes you think that?"
C. "I heard mamma say she had her father's eyes and her mother's nose and chin."
T. (10 p.m.). "We've taken pains to eat so many good things to-day, I guess we'll have to do without to-morrow."
C. "Oh, we'll get something to-morrow for our pains."
C. (11 p.m.). "Mamma, Time takes wings on Christmas day like butterflies on hot cakes. Can't you stop the clock for an hour?"
Mamma. "Why don't you ask papa?"
C. "'Cause you told me time stops for no man."
T. (12 m.). "Good-night, papa; we're tucked in all right."
Papa. "Now, boys, go to sleep."
C. "We're going to. Uncle Jack said there'd be a big war in us when the turkey and plum-pudding discovered each other, and so we're going to rest before the fight."