An Astronomical Wedding-Journey.
Once upon a time it chanced that the —— in the —— (satellite of the earth) fell desperately in love with a certain fair —— (sixth sign of the zodiac), and the latter, having first dutifully asked her ——' (one of the primary planets) permission, readily consented to marry him. For bridemaids they chose —— (one of the Northern constellations who was noted for her shining hair), and —— (a Northern constellation, a princess who had once been chained to a rock on the sea-shore); while for groomsmen they had the twin brothers —— and —— (third sign of the zodiac).
At the wedding-breakfast the bride sat in ——'s chair (a Northern constellation), and as they were fond of sea-food, they had on the menu deviled —— (fourth sign of the zodiac) and broiled —— (twelfth sign of the zodiac), with —— (eleventh sign of the zodiac) for their water-carrier.
After breakfast they had a game of —— and —— (Northern constellation) with their guests; and the bride, being a fine musician, entertained them by playing the —— (Northern constellation).
As there were no railroads in the country, they harnessed —— (Northern constellation) to Charles's —— (Northern constellation), and took the route known as 'The —— ——.'
"It seems very selfish to be seeking only our own pleasure," suggested the bride, who, like every truly happy bride, wanted all the world to share her joy; and the groom, being a sworn knight, decided that they would go in search of the lost ——. Becoming thirsty on the journey, they stopped at a farm-house well.
"You can drink from the little ——," said the groom, "and I from the big ——."
But a great —— (a Southern constellation) began barking at them, and before they could get back to the wagon they were butted by a vicious —— (first sign of the zodiac), and came near being tossed by an angry —— (second sign of the zodiac). A little later, in passing through a thicket, they met a roaring —— (fifth sign of the zodiac). But the groom, being a fine —— (ninth sign of the zodiac), slew him with an —— (Northern constellation), and when shortly afterward they encountered a great grizzly —— and a little one (Northern constellations), he made an end of the old one in the same way. But the little one was too bright for him, and chasing the tip of his tail, they presently reached that long-sought —— around which the —— are the only dancers on May-day. For the remainder of the journey there was nothing to mar their pleasure; but after they reached the groom's palace, the trail of the —— (Northern constellation) soon made a change, for the groom in his own house, like many another husband, was as eccentric as a ——, flying off in a —— on the slightest provocation, and though he had always been reputed to be made of gold, he proved so poor that he could afford no —— except what he borrowed from his generous father, the ——, whom he disrespectfully called "Old ——."
The bride in her disappointment declared that he had been weighed in the —— (seventh sign of the zodiac) and found wanting, and also charged him with having become so infatuated with —— (the most beautiful of the planets), that she herself was totally ——. And though he protested that she was still his morning and his evening ——, and that he would willingly endure for her the labors of —— (Northern constellation), she refused to be reconciled. Whereupon he made way with himself by taking an overdose of —— (one of the planets), and the bride in a fit of remorse hid a —— (eighth sign of the zodiac) in her bosom, and suffered the fate of —— (Egyptian queen).
A copy of this puzzle having been given to each couple, half an hour was allowed for the filling of the blank spaces, after which prizes were awarded to those who had made out the papers correctly.
EACH COUPLE HAD A COPY OF THE PUZZLE.
THE MIDDLETON BOWL[1]
BY ELLEN DOUGLAS DELAND.
CHAPTER VI.
t was four o'clock in the morning before the household began to settle down into its accustomed quiet. Miss Joanna was at last sleeping quietly, and the doctor assured the sisters that they need fear no further danger. He begged them to go to their rooms and try to get some rest, for he saw that the four ladies were in a state of nervous excitement which was almost alarming. Miss Middleton declared that she should not leave her sister Joanna, but she begged the others to follow the doctor's advice. Miss Thomasine, as she passed Theodora's room, opened the door quietly and looked in. She intended to tell her niece, if she were awake, that her aunt Joanna was decidedly better.
But when Miss Thomasine peeped into the room, which was but dimly lighted, she was astonished to find that Theodora was not there. She stepped inside and looked again. The bed was empty, as was also the lounge. The room was not large, and one could see at a glance that it was not occupied.
Miss Thomasine felt a shock similar to the one which she had experienced when she was told that Joanna "had one of her attacks." Where could the child be?
In the hall she met Miss Dorcas and Miss Melissa.
"Theodora is not in her room," she whispered. "Where do you suppose she is, sisters? And what had we better do?"
The three stood and looked at one another. Without their two ruling spirits Adaline and Joanna, whose words were always law, the three younger sisters felt much as if they were a ship deprived of both captain and pilot in a stormy sea.
They drew a step nearer to one another.
"Perhaps," said Miss Melissa—"perhaps—there's no knowing; she might do anything!—she went again—"
"Went where?" asked Miss Dorcas. "Do you mean on the—the—"
"Do you mean the bicycle?" asked Miss Thomasine, courageously uttering the obnoxious word.
Miss Melissa nodded.
"Oh, it could not be!" said Miss Dorcas.
"Certainly not!" exclaimed Miss Thomasine. "The child is somewhere in the house, and we must look for her."
They investigated the rooms on the second floor with no success, and then they descended the broad stairs, one behind the other, each clad in a flowered dressing-gown and enveloped in a worsted shawl, and each one carrying a lighted candle in a tall silver candlestick.
Over their heads, shorn of the additional braids which adorned them by day, and in no state to be seen by the doctor or even by the servants, each sister had tied a white knit "cloud." Even Miss Melissa, when she removed her bonnet after her futile attempt to summon the doctor, had again adjusted her cloud.
And now they crept down their own staircase feeling strangely ill at ease. Never before had they been downstairs at this hour and in this costume, but Theodora must be found.
THEODORA LAY ON THE SOFA ASLEEP.
The parlor door stood open at the foot of the stairs. It was dark there now, for the moon had set and it was not yet dawn. The three ladies gathered at the threshold, and holding their candles on high, peered into the room. There, on the sofa, lay Theodora, one arm hanging over the side, the other tossed above her head. As the aunts drew nearer she moved a little, and murmured in her sleep: "Of course I believe you. It's dreadful not to be believed."
Then the gleam of the three candles shone full in her face and she wakened, her eyes blinking in the light.
"Why, what is it?" she cried, starting up in terror and gazing at the three odd figures. "Where am I, and who are you? Who are you, I say?"
"My dear Teddy," said Miss Thomasine, "do not be alarmed! Do you not know us?"
"Why, it's Aunt Tom," said their niece, wonderingly, "and Aunt Dorcas, and Aunt Melissa! You don't know how funny you look! Have you been out to walk?"
"Out to walk!" repeated Miss Dorcas, severely. "Do you know that it is the middle of the night?"
"Is it, really? Then how did I get here? Oh, I remember! Aunt Joanna was ill, and I went on Arthur's wheel, and then I came down here and found Andy Morse. Oh, it has been such an exciting night! I gave him something to eat in the kitchen. I hope you won't mind, but he was so hungry. And he has promised to be good after this."
The three aunts looked at one another and then at Teddy's flushed face. Miss Thomasine felt her pulse and asked to see her tongue.
"You have been dreaming, I suppose. Come up stairs and go to bed, my dear."
"But I didn't dream that, Aunt Tom. Andy Morse was really here, and I gave him some money to go away with. I had some in my bank, you know, so I could do what I liked with it."
"She grows more and more incoherent," said Miss Dorcas.
"I think, sisters," murmured Miss Melissa, "that—that—it would be as well—the doctor right here—"
"I agree with you," said Miss Thomasine; "she most certainly is not well, and the doctor had better see her. Teddy dear, come up stairs. Lean on me if you feel at all giddy."
"I'm not a bit giddy," cried Theodora, springing to her feet, "and I don't know what you are talking about. Why must I see the doctor? I am not sick, and oh, I do want to tell you about Andy Morse!"
Again the sisters looked significantly at one another. Then Miss Thomasine took one of Teddy's hands and Miss Dorcas possessed herself of the other, while Miss Melissa walked in front with two of the candles.
"We must get her to bed as quietly as possible," said Miss Thomasine. "Oh, what a night this has been!"
"I was sure that ride would be too much for her," said Miss Dorcas.
"Is it—do you think it can be? I have heard of it—brain fever?" whispered Miss Melissa, turning in affright.
"What do you all mean?" exclaimed Teddy, wrenching her hands away from her aunts. "I tell you I'm not a bit sick, and I do wish you would let me go up stairs alone! And I don't see why you won't believe what I say. Are you never going to believe me again? I wish you would let me tell you about Andy Morse. He hid behind the big sofa, and I heard him there, and asked him to come out. Do you know, that poor boy hadn't had a thing to eat for two days! Just think of it! And he was so desperate he came here to steal something. I don't wonder—do you?"
The sisters had again looked at one another meaningly, and during this speech Miss Dorcas had left the room. Presently she returned with the doctor.
"What's all this?" he asked. "Teddy ill, after saving her aunt's life, as she did? She doesn't look very ill."
"Of course I'm not ill, Dr. Morton! They won't believe me when I say that Andy Morse was hiding here and I gave him something to eat and the money out of my bank. If you go into the kitchen you will see the plates and things on the table, and if you go up to my room you will see the empty bank. I do wish my father and mother were here!" she added. "I'm just tired of not being believed."
The doctor felt her pulse and looked at her.
"I believe you, my child," he said. "You are as well as I am, and I have no doubt Andy Morse was here. He is quite capable of anything. I am sorry you gave him your money, for he doesn't deserve it, but I quite believe you."
Theodora glanced at him gratefully, and from that moment she considered Dr. Morton one of her best friends. He asked her more particularly about the occurrences of the night, and she gave him a detailed history of it from the time when she returned from her ride.
"Well, well," he said, when he heard how she had stood in the moonlight and invited the intruder to come forth—"well, well! you're the girl for my mind. And didn't you feel afraid?"
"Why, yes, I suppose I was afraid," said she. "But there was nothing else to be done that I could think of, and so I had to do it."
At which the doctor chuckled more appreciatively than ever.
Miss Joanna was much better in the morning, and in a few days was quite convalescent. The sisters were all more or less prostrated by this thrilling night, and it was a week before the household affairs were running with their accustomed smoothness, and before the Misses Middleton could turn their thoughts and their conversation to the ordinary concerns of life.
A new idea and a very startling one had been presented to them, too. Dr. Morton, upon each of his visits to Miss Joanna, had made some remark upon Theodora's courage, upon her presence of mind, upon her general excellence. He declared that she, and she alone, had been the means of saving her aunt's life, and in his opinion she should be rewarded not only for that, but for having prevented a bold and startling robbery.
Undoubtedly Andy Morse, if left to himself, would have carried away the greater part of the Misses Middleton's treasures. According to Dr. Morton, if it had not been for Teddy, her aunts, when they descended in the morning, would have found their large drawing-room absolutely bare and empty. The girl should certainly be rewarded, and no better token of her aunts' gratitude and regard could be found than a bicycle. Not only would it give her pleasure, but it would also be of benefit to her health.
Never before did Dr. Morton discourse so long and so earnestly, and the result was that he gained his point. The ladies held out as long as they could, but he was too much for them.
As Miss Joanna remarked, "When we feel that Theodora really did us such a service, it seems as if we should waive our prejudices."
And for Miss Joanna to acknowledge this, and to call "prejudices" the feelings which had hitherto been designated as "principles" meant a great deal. Miss Thomasine had from the first been in favor of buying the wheel, and had strongly urged it; but not until Miss Joanna thus expressed herself did Miss Middleton actually give her consent.
John, the old coachman, now fortunately recovered from his attack of rheumatism, could scarcely believe his ears when Miss Middleton ordered him to drive to the large bicycle-shop on Main Street.
The carriage with its four occupants reached the shop in due time, and the ladies entered. They looked about in some bewilderment at the vast number of bicycles that were stacked in the place, and the thought that they could all whirl, as wheels will, made them positively dizzy. Miss Melissa was glad that she had brought her salts, and she held them first to one nostril, then to the other.
"What can I do for you, ladies?" asked the salesman, as he came forward.
"We wish to look at bi-cy-cles," said Miss Middleton, wondering if it could be really she who was making this request, and wishing more than ever that Miss Joanna were there to take the lead.
"Ah, indeed? Something for yourselves, no doubt?"
"Not by any means," said Miss Middleton, coldly, and with all the "Middleton manner" that she could summon to her aid. "We are about to purchase a bi-cy-cle for our niece."
"Oh, certainly! I didn't see her at first. So many ladies do ride, that I thought— However, here is one that I am sure your niece will like—light weight, not more than twenty pounds; improved chain and skirt guards; made in such a way that there is a minimum degree of weight with a maximum amount of safety; small narrow sweep of handle-bar; latest invention in pedals; small adjustable saddle—most comfortable that is made—though if your niece prefers one of the new anatomical saddles, that can easily be arranged; bell, brake, lantern, and cyclometer thrown in if you pay cash down, together with a full supply of cement, patches, plugs, twine, and needle for a punctured tire, also oil-can, pump, and wrench. Or, if you don't fancy this model, here is another—twenty-one pounds, self-mending tires in case of punctures—"
"Oh, please stop a moment!" cried Miss Middleton. "My dear sisters, I scarcely know what to think. If only Joanna were here! I never dreamed that there were so many accessories to a bi-cy-cle. It seems as if we were getting a great deal for the money."
"A great deal, madam, I do assure you, and at the same time very light weight. To be sure, the tendency this year is to make heavier machines, but this being a miss's wheel, it is absolutely strong, while being at the same time exceedingly light. Just lift it yourself, madam, and you will see."
And before she realized what she was doing, Miss Middleton had laid aside her little satchel and her sunshade, and was actually lifting a bicycle. Each sister in turn, not to be outdone, went through the same form.
One wheel after another was brought forward, and each one seemed to possess more virtues than its predecessor. The three Misses Middleton grew more and more bewildered, while Theodora began to think that the matter would never be settled. She had no opportunity for stating her preference, if she had any, for her aunts appeared to think that she knew nothing at all on the subject.
Their interest increased with their bewilderment, and they soon found themselves conversing with ease about gear and ball-bearings, and the salesman did not allow himself even to smile when Miss Thomasine examined the chain-guard, and said it seemed like an excellent brake. He had begun to hope that he might dispose of four wheels instead of one, so enthusiastic were his customers becoming.
So it might have gone on for some time longer, and there is no knowing what might have transpired, had not Paul Hoyt, greatly to Teddy's relief, appeared in the doorway. He had heard rumors of the intended purchase, and he had at once mounted his own wheel and ridden in search of his neighbors, knowing that it would be an entertaining sight, to say the least, and thinking that he might find an opportunity for giving his opinion and lending the weight of his experience.
The Misses Middleton paid more attention to him than they did to Theodora, and at last a wheel was chosen and paid for, and the three ladies, with their niece, left the shop.
They drove away still full of their subject, and when the new bicycle came home it was brought directly to them. The three Misses Middleton who had made the purchase explained to the two who were still in ignorance of its merits the great advantages which this bi-cy-cle possessed over every other make of machine, while Teddy looked on, wondering when the happy moment would arrive that she could take the beloved object and go forth for a ride upon her own, own wheel. Indeed she could scarcely express her gratitude to her aunts, so engrossed were they in all the technicalities of the subject.
About ten days after this, Mrs. Hoyt, accompanied by Arthur, called upon the Misses Middleton. The ladies came down to the drawing-room and greeted their guests with their usual formal courtesy. There was a moment's pause after all had seated themselves, and then Mrs. Hoyt began the conversation.
"I have come," she said, "to speak once more on the subject of the bowl. Have you found yet any clew to the person who broke it?"
"No," said Miss Middleton, "we have not."
"But we still have our suspicious," interposed Miss Joanna.
"And what are they?"
"We did think that it was either Arthur or Theodora. Now we are convinced that it was Arthur, and that our niece, from a mistaken feeling of honor, helped him to hide it. Nothing can change us in this opinion."
"I have come to tell you," said Mrs. Hoyt, quietly but with great firmness, "that Mr. Hoyt and I are perfectly convinced that Arthur did not do it. The evidence is very strong against him, we admit, but he has always been a truthful boy, and we feel very sure that he is so still. The child has been made so unhappy by the affair that I felt it necessary to bring him here, and let him hear me tell you that his father and I do not think he did it."
She rose to go in the pause that followed this speech. The sisters were silent until they also had risen, and then Miss Joanna spoke.
"Our opinion is unchanged," said she, "and always will be."
At this moment the parlor door flew open and Theodora ran into the room.
"I have just met the postman," she cried, "and he gave me this letter! Look at it!" and she held it up for her aunts' inspection.
The envelope was exceedingly soiled, and the stamp was placed upside down on the lower left-hand corner. It was addressed to "miss tedy middleton."
"It is from Andy Morse," she continued; "and—oh, Arthur, he tells it all!" And this was what she read aloud:
"'miss tedy middleton, dear miss.
"'i Rite you theese few lines Hopping thay will find you in Good helth i want too tell you ive got work ime goin on a Ship i wont make mutch yet butt its Better nor nothin and i Hopp ile make more soon its all Bekorse you gave me That Monny and sum day ime goin to pay it Back.
"And i want to tell you i broke that bole'" (Teddy paused in the reading and looked about upon her audience. Her five aunts sank into their chairs, and Miss Melissa vigorously applied her salts, while, much to Arthur's amazement, his mother began to cry. Teddy continued) "'i was that Mad the day you give me the Black i that i ran to your house and the dore was open and i went in and sore the bole and i herd of that bole and that hoite Boy was in the parler and i skeered him most to deth and i asked him if that was the middleton bole and he said yes and i smashed it and made him promise not to tell on me and if he did ide kill him i fritened him orful bad and i have ever since.
"'i was going to tell you about it that nite i was thare only you Was so good to me i diddent Like to and you sed it Cost so mutch i was afraid, butt i remember you sed thay Thort you did it and you beleeved me wen i sed i was going to be onnest so thats the Reeson ive rote this,
"yours truly andy morse
"'thay cant ketch me About the bole bekorse ile be to see wen you read this.'"
When Teddy had finished the letter, Miss Joanna settled her spectacles more firmly upon her aristocratic, aquiline nose. Then she held out her hand for the paper, which she took and examined with care. It was passed from one sister to another as they sat in an impressive silence, which was broken as usual by Miss Joanna.
She rose from her chair, and going to Mrs. Hoyt, she took her by the hand.
"We beg your pardon, Ellen Hoyt," said she, "and we beg your son's pardon. He is a truthful boy, after all, as Theodora is a truthful girl. Is it not so, sisters?"
"It is indeed so," replied they all, as they also rose and gathered about their guests.
Thus Arthur was at last cleared from suspicion and relieved from the state of dread and anxiety in which he had lived since the accident, for Morse had not only threatened him at the time, should he give any information as to what he had done, but had constantly found means since then of frightening the boy, which accounted for his nervous condition.
And the Misses Middleton were at last convinced that neither Arthur nor Theodora had broken the Middleton bowl.