LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
Mamma. "You must take this medicine like a good boy, Tommy; it is spring medicine."
Tommy. "All right, mamma, if it will only make the spring come, so's I can play ball."
An old gentleman, within a short distance of the grave, remarked to his coachman, "Alas, James, I shall shortly go on a longer journey than you have ever driven me."
James (who had often been berated for reckless driving). "Rest easy, master, for it's a journey down hill all the way."
"I don't know why it is, Charlie, but you are always quarrelling. I dare say you quarrel with yourself."
"Can't help it; every one does that has a nose and chin."
"Why, how do you make that out?"
"Words always pass between them, you know."
Little fishy in the brook,
Went out one day on his own hook,
Despite the warning of his mother.
And then, alas,
It came to pass
He found the hook of Jimmie's brother,
And no one knows where he is at
Since he went whisking off on that.
Gentleman. "Here Pat, pull off these boots of mine."
Pat (looking at the gentleman's extraordinary large foot). "Sure your honor, I'd willingly do that same for yez, but it's beyond me power. The forks of the road below here might git the better of thim."