A PISCATORIAL OBSERVATION.
Tommy. "Isn't it funny, mamma, that these eels live in the wide, wide ocean?"
Mamma. "I don't think it's funny, Tommy."
Tommy. "Well, I do; I should think them built for narrow winding streams."
Patrick was lying in bed in a hospital. He had been brought in a few days before after a severe fall from the top story of a building on which he had been working. With all his suffering he never lost his cheerful spirits, and livened up many of the other patients with his bright remarks and short stories. The doctor happened along, and asked him how he felt.
"Fairly well, doctor; this right leg of moine is a very ungrateful spalpeen consitherin' that it wuz only broke in wan place whin it moight have been smashed in a dozen."
"How did you fall, Patrick?" I asked. "Did you lose your head?"
"Faith, no; sure it was me footin' oi lost."
"What time did it happen?"
"Well, oi wuzn't so sure before I fell, but I wuz thinkin' comin' down that it wuz near dinner hour, an' oi wuz convinced of that same as oi passed the second story, fer oi saw the people in there atin' dinner."
In the days of Emperor William the cadets in Berlin were obliged to adhere very closely to the rules of their respective academies. They were not allowed to go to entertainments at night without the escort of an elder relative. One evening, a cadet thinking he would escape observation, slipped into an entertainment, and taking a back seat quietly enjoyed the performance. He presently entered into conversation with his neighbor, a very pleasant gentleman. An academy officer passing spotted him, and the cadet, seeing that he had been observed, whispered to his new acquaintance, "Will you be my uncle?"
The gentleman, understanding the position of the cadet, smilingly agreed to be his uncle. Next morning the cadet was sternly called from the ranks.
"You broke the rules last night, sir."
"Yes, sir," replied the cadet; "but I was with my uncle."
"Hum! Well, your uncle last night happened to be the Crown Prince, and he wrote me this morning begging that you should be let off. Remember next time that your alliance with the royal family is a strict military one only."