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HARPER & BROTHERS, New York, N.Y.
EXPLAINED.
"Why, Mandie, what are you doing with your doll?"
"I'm going to take her to the house show."
"But why do you have her done up in that extraordinary way?"
"Because I saw in the paper that all the best people went in a private box."
Mamma. "Why, Harry, did your teacher send you home?"
Harry. "Yes; she wanted to give me a set of books a fellow used last term, and I wouldn't take them, 'cause he got all there was to learn out of them."
Teacher. "Why, George, John tells me you knocked him down. Did you?"
George (happily remembering one of his lessons). "No, marm; it was the force of gravitation that made him fall. I only pushed him."
Father. "Now, Tom, you should know how to defend yourself. You see, this is the first position, and so. Now don't be afraid; strike out with the gloves."
Father (fifteen minutes later). "Confound it, how was I to know he had been taking lessons at the school gymnasium."
PHILOSOPHY.
WALTER G. NICHOLS.
A puppy who had chased his tail
Around the livelong day
Quite unsuccessfully, was heard
Unto his tail to say:
"I s'pose you think this quite a joke
To lead me such a chase,
And make me show my master now
A disappointed face.
"But though this is for you more fun
Than me, just wait a few
More years, and then I'll be as good
At 'wagging' as are you!"