6.
Well, there! you're done for now! Oh dear!
What makes me feel so very queer?
What were you good for, anyway,
Not fit to eat, and wouldn't play?
FUN
Table Tactics.—Old Francis was a wag; and once, when early peas were on the table, he emptied the contents of his snuff-box over them. "Francis! Francis!" they exclaimed, "what are you about?" "I like them that way," was the answer. He, of course, had the dish to himself, and when he had concluded, remarked: "You thought it was snuff, did you? Nothing but black pepper."
A cat caught a sparrow, and was about to devour it; but the sparrow said, "No gentleman eats till he washes his face." The cat, struck with this remark, set the sparrow down and began to wash his face with his paw, but the sparrow flew away. This vexed puss extremely, and he said, "As long as I live I will eat first and wash my face afterward"—which all cats do even to this day.
"What dogs are these?" inquired a gentleman of a lad who was drawing a couple of terriers along. "I dinna ken, Sir," replied the boy; "they cam' wi' the railway, and they ate the direction, and dinna ken where to gang."
Numerical Charade.—I am a word of 8 letters. My 1, 6, 3 is a domestic animal; my 8, 6, 3 is a grain; my 7, 4, 3 is an adverb; my 5, 2, 3 is damp; my 4, 5, 2 is an animal; my 1, 8, 3 is a dwelling; and my whole a black man very notorious of late.
Say this correctly without stopping: "Bandy-legged Borachio Mustachio Whiskerifusticus the bold and brave Bombardino of Bagdad helped Abomilique Blue-beard Bashaw of Babelmandeb to beat down an abominable Bumble-Bee at Balsora."
A lady making inquiries of a boy about his father, an intemperate man, who had been sick for some time, asked whether he had regained his appetite. "No, ma'am," said the boy, "not exactly; his appetite is very poor, but his drinkatite is as good as ever."
There is one thing which a man with two eyes can never see with one of them, and that is the other one.
"I expend a good deal of panes at my work," as the glazier said to the window-sash.
Miss Jemima Wilhelmina, when her parents refuse to allow her to go to a ball, sets to and has a bawl at home.
The man who was lost in slumber found his way out on a nightmare.
A school-master asked one of his boys, on a cold winter morning, what was the Latin word for cold. The boy hesitated a little, when the master said, "What, sirrah, can't you tell?" "Yes, Sir," said the boy, "I have it at my finger-ends."
MATHEMATICAL PUZZLES.
No. I.
Two countrymen were going along the road, each driving sheep.
Said one, "Hi, neighbor, give me one of your sheep, and then I shall have twice as many as you will have."
"Nay, neighbor," replied the other, "give me one of your sheep, and then we shall both have the same number."
How many sheep did each have?