A BROTHER ARTIST
["We have regularly attended the Academy now for many years, but never do we remember such a poor show of portraits; they cannot prove to be otherwise than the laughing-stock of tailors and their customers."—Tailor and Cutter.]
The tailor leaned upon his goose,
And wiped away a tear:
"What portraits painting-men produce,"
He sobbed, "from year to year!
These fellows make their sitters smile
In suits that do not fit,
They're wrongly buttoned, and the style
Is not the thing a bit.
"Oh, artist I'm an artist too!
I bid you use restraint,
And only show your sitters, do,
In fitting coats of paint;
In vain you crown those errant seams
With smiles that look ethereal,
For man may be the stuff of dreams—
But dreams are not material."
Medical.—A sculptor friend, who has strabismus, consoles himself with the thought that he can always keep his profession in view through having a cast in his eye.
Frame-maker (to gifted amateur, who is ordering frames for a few prints and sketches). "Ah, I suppose you want something cheap an' ordinary for this?"
[N.B.—"This" was a cherished little sketch by our amateur himself.
Not quite the Same.—Scene: Exhibition of Works of Art.
Dealer (to friend, indicating stout person closely examining a Vandyke). Do you know who that is? I so often see him about.
Friend. I know him. He's a collector.
Dealer (much interested). Indeed! What does he collect? Pictures?
Friend. No. Income tax.
[Exeunt severally.
Art Class.—Inspector. What is a "landscape painter"?
Student. A painter of landscapes.
Inspector. Good. What is an "animal painter"?
Student. A painter of animals.
Inspector. Excellent. What is a "marine painter"?
Student. A painter of marines.
Inspector. Admirable! Go and tell it them. Call next class.
[Exeunt students.
The Best "Publisher's Circular."—A round dining-table.
